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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
shshshannon! Offline
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How do I tell my parents? - March 24th 2009, 06:17 AM

(Sorry in advance if this is the wrong place to post this. I wasn't sure if I should put it here or in the Friends and Family forum).

So I have been smoking weed about once or twice a month since last October and I think I am ready to tell my parents. I don't know how I am going to tell them or if I even should (only because I am scared to death of what their reactions may be and where they decide to hang me).


I started smoking in the first place only because I wanted to, not because I was talked into it or for the fact that almost every one of my friends do it. I use to be straightedge and had no desire of doing it, but since I've switched schools, I am in a whole new environment than before. I go to a school of about 250 kids where almost every single person smokes weed (literally, that's no exaggeration). I've learned a lot more about it and my feelings have obviously changed. I try to be responsible with it (even though smoking in the first place isn't very responsible), like not smoking too often, not buying weed myself, and definitely not selling it. I know almost everyone says that once you start weed you'll gradually experiment with different drugs, but I can honestly say that I will never try anything else besides pot, and I know that for a fact. I don't see smoking weed as a bad thing and it's a pretty common thing for teenagers these days (at least it is in Alaska).

So my problem is my family. I've told my older sister because we tell each other everything. She actually suggested this site to me for this specific reason. I am just so tired of keeping things from my parents. I want to have the kind of relationship with them where I can tell them everything and not have to hide anything. I hate lying to them and I don't want to let them down. They've always expected me to be smart and do the right things and I always have. I have great friends, I don't get into trouble, I never break the rules (except for this), I'm going to be graduating a year early, I live and breathe sports and I plan on being successful. So how do I tell my parents that I'm not exactly the person they've always wanted me to be?

It's hard because my Dad and I have never been close because he is very abusive and he has worked out of town since I was a kid, so I see him for about two months every year. Telling him would just make us grow even further apart and he would probably kick me out to be honest. It would break my Mom's heart if she knew. She was always the perfect daughter growing up and she would never look at me the same if I told her. But at the same time I feel like telling her would be better than her never knowing or her finding out on her own.


Has anyone been through this similar situation?

Again, I'm sorry if this is in the wrong forum.
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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 24th 2009, 02:15 PM

You know, it's always frustrated me a bit when people use weed as an excuse of the "gateway drug," because that isn't how I have ever seen it. Trying new drugs does not come from weed. That comes from one's own decision. I started off on hard drugs, and now pot is the only thing i'll do most of the time.

If you feel it's right and that you're ready to tell your parents, then by all means go ahead. Make sure you point out the benefits of smoking weed, as well as telling them how responsible you are, because you really seem mature for your age. Just make sure to be very careful with where and how often you're smoking and you'll be able to keep it under control. I'm glad you've educated yourself on weed and i'm sure you'll be fine as long as you're careful
   
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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 25th 2009, 04:27 PM

I don't really think there is a right or wrong way to tell your parents something like this.
I respect that you wish to tell them, but it is a hard thing to do.
I suppose telling them is going to illustrate a level of responsibility on your part in that you're open about the drug use and not keeping it a secret from them.
Best approach would be to spell it out like you have done here, explain that you were previously against the idea but as you've grown older and met new people your curiosity has developed and you wish to explore such drugs. You have no intention of abusing the substance and you take it under controlled circumstances, etc.

I cannot see that there is any way they will take it as good news, but I am sure they will appreciate your honesty in the long run.
   
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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 26th 2009, 06:53 AM

It's just sort of difficult talking to my parents about serious things like this because they don't really care what I have to say. They won't listen to me if I try to explain how harmless I think it is and all that jazz.

My Dad did tons of drugs when he was growing up (pretty much any drug besides meth and anything that has to be injected with a needle) and my Mom smoked cigarettes for about two years as a teen and before my sister and I were born (which in my eyes, cigarettes are worse than weed). They'd be complete hypocrites if they freaked out big time, but then again, they're hypocritical about everything.
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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 26th 2009, 06:27 PM

I think it's really awesome that you want to be honest with your parents. No matter how you tell them though, it's going to be tough and they are probably going to freak out. Even though you say they shouldn't be hypocrites, you are their daughter and they want what is best for you and they know first hand how harmful drugs can be. So they will probably freak out. I'd suggest writing it in a note, maybe, if you are uncomfortable telling them face to face. If you think though, that you are going to be kicked out, I wouldn't tell them unless you have a way to support yourself. If you are worried about disappointing your parents, you could just... stop?


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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 26th 2009, 09:46 PM

If it helps at all, my dad is severly anti drugs and when my sister told him she smoked weed, sure he got mad for a few weeks or so, but he forgave her in the end.

Your mum will be disappointed, of course. But she sounds like a good mother, which makes me believe she'll be disappointed for you, not in you. I would start by telling her, and just explaining it from your side. Don't get angry, don't throw a tantrum if it doesn't go your way. Show her you can be mature about things.

But honestly, I'd say that you should probably just stop smoking weed. It's going to cause you problems, obviously. And if you know your parents are going to freak out, then surely you know why they would. And if you know why they would, then you know that weed isn't something that you should probably be doing.

I'm not anti weed or anti smoking. I believe in your right to experiment. But just reassess whether the label "pot smoker" is a label you want, or whether you've had your fun and maybe it's time to move on and focus on what's important in life.
   
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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 27th 2009, 02:50 AM

Weed is very harmless. There has not been one death directly related to it. Asprin is more harmful. Do some research on the subject before you tell your parents, it's not a big deal. Your parents have probably did it during your age.
   
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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 27th 2009, 08:25 AM

Yeah, I'm going to quit mostly for my sister's sake. She hates the idea that I'm doing something illegal and she says I'm hurting my body.

I can't say that I'd never do it again when I'm older though.
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Re: How do I tell my parents? - March 28th 2009, 12:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shshshannon! View Post
Yeah, I'm going to quit mostly for my sister's sake. She hates the idea that I'm doing something illegal and she says I'm hurting my body.

I can't say that I'd never do it again when I'm older though.
I think that's a good idea.

And to the person who said weed is harmless, well if you smoke it with tobacco [which most people here do] then it has the same affects as smoking cigarettes, which are yes, very harmful in fact.

I would go into the risks of Marijuana but that's not what the OP is asking. Maybe you should do your research.

That said, i'm going to close this since it seems like problem solved as you're going to quit. If you want it re-opened Shannon, please PM me.


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