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We Hide From the Real Word (Triggering Suicide, Self Harm, and Substances) - March 8th 2012, 07:54 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello I'm May ,

So I have been friends with this boy named John (real name not used) for about 6 years now. He has some emotional issue because everyone treats him like dirt. And it's mostly because no one will bother to get to know him long enough to understand him. He told me in about 6th grade that he cut himself. I have to say at the time I didn't really understand cutting or self harm. I just thought all the creepy Gothic/Emo people did it to be cool. (Some people do) He would sometimes talk about committing suicide and at sometimes I was so scared he was going to do it. He would come to school quiet and the he would whisper that he almost did it. He has actually been hospitalized a few times and I care for him so much. I believe he dates so much because he doesn't want to be a lone to face reality.

There was a time where I stopped talking to him because he would make rude comments and at times he would be very inappropriate. During that time he started smoking pot and coming to class high everyday. But before class he went to a high school dance and that's when I figured out he was smoking pot. He was dazed and walking funny and had a strange look on his face. He would look at me funny and he told me he felt horrible I had to see him like that. I wasn't mad really but upset because he said that pot and smoking was gross and he would never do it, but now he can't stop and is totally ruining his school career.

I made a deal with him. If he tried to stop smoking pot, that I would try and stop self harming myself. I started self harming a while before he started smoking. It was mostly because I was have a lot of emotions problems and some I can't even really explain it just happened and now I'm still addicted to it.

He hasn't talked to me in over a year because I told him that we could never be in a relationship but I want to be his friend. He said that what he has been doing is foolish and he has been wasting his time with me. I felt horrible after wards and now I have no one to talk to about my self harming and he really understands. Its funny he blames himself for my self harming and I blame myself for his pot addiction. I wasn't so cold hearted he wouldn't be like this.

Any comments are fine.

We're all damaged in our own way. Nobody's perfect. I think we are all somewhat screwy, every single one of us.

~Johnny Depp
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Re: We Hide From the Real Word (Triggering Suicide, Self Harm, and Substances) - March 11th 2012, 02:04 PM

Hey there

I am sorry that things with him went so wrong. But right now I think, what you guys need is communication. A face to face, open heart, honest conversation. About everything. How you feel about each other, about others around you, what you want from life, basically everything. Catch up on life. Be honest about your feelings, about how you blame yourself and he blames himself. You guys could be there for each other at every point of life, simply because you can understand each other. You both have your issues, you've both been through a lot in life. Don't let these issues come in between your friendship. Instead support each other to recovery. Get professional help if you need to, and support each other through it.

My suggestion is that don't let a wonderful friendship die just like that. Make an effort to make it work.

I am here if you need someone to talk to.
Take care and stay strong <3

"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
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Ambedo. Offline
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Re: We Hide From the Real Word (Triggering Suicide, Self Harm, and Substances) - March 12th 2012, 02:10 AM

I'm sorry that things went downhill between you and John. First of all, the fact that he smokes pot is not your fault. On the same note, the fact that you struggle with self-harm is not his fault. However, you both need to be understanding of the other person's struggles and be there to support each other.

Right now, communication is probably the best thing for the two of you. I know you haven't spoken in about a year, but it might be time to try and change that. Just try reaching out to him. If you can't do it in person, try writing him a letter, shooting him a text message, or sending him a message on Facebook. Let him know that you really do want to fix your friendship and tell him the reasons why. It may work out, it may not. But, you two had too great of a friendship to let it fall away without putting in one last effort.

Good luck with everything. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm just a PM away.

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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