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View Poll Results: Did I Do the Right Thing for My Friend By Telling Her Smoking Weed Is Not the Best Decision?
Yes, You Did The Right Thing 6 100.00%
No, You Were Out of Line 0 0%
Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JustWaiting Offline
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My Friend Wants to Try Marijuana - March 16th 2012, 11:58 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My best friend(Megan) who I've known my whole life told me that she is going to try marijuana today, a few days ago. We are both freshmen in high school. Recently, Megan has been hanging around a girl who isn't the best influence. She is promiscuous and frequently smokes weed. On top of this, Shannon and Megan absolutely despised each other last year. Megan called Shannon a slut and vise versa. Anyways, a talked to my friend, Nicole, about this and she agreed with me, it isn't like Megan to want to smoke. Then she told me that Shannon and Megan were going to smoke with other people. Great, now shes going to be influenced even more. Then today, (the day shes planning on smoking) both Megan and my friend, Mikayla, came over to me in English and told asked me if I had heard about how Megan was going with that group to smoke. I said yea and I told her about my concern and how she said that she never would want to be like that (weed smoker) and also her dad smokes so i thought that that would show her an example of what not to do. Mikayla agreed with me and said that she tried to talk to her but only said "its my own decision and ill make mistakes and learn from them." So Mikayla wanted me to talk to her. I never see her during the day so today,towards the end of the school day i sent her a text saying " hey I know it is untimatly your decision but why would you want to smoke in the first place like what do you benefit out of it? all I'm saying is just to think about it." When I got home I saw that she posted a status on Facebook that said "I'm sorry...I didn't know my life was your business." Well its about five hours later and she still hasn't responded. I've known her my entire life and i know that weed can be addicting and i just don't want her to fall into that trap. I love her as a best friend and I find it as my responsibility to at least remind her how big of a risk she's taking. What I'm wondering is did I do the right thing or was I out of line?


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Re: My Friend Wants to Try Marijuana - March 17th 2012, 02:35 AM

As much as it isn't your business, it's your business, because your friends and you care about your friend.

Maybe talk to her about how you feel about it? How much you care? -You can also talk to her about the dangers of mental illness because of weed (There is a youtube video with David Suzuki talking about it... I can't remember what it is, the name I mean, because it was during this talk with a police officer months ago at school.)

And, your right, Weed is a gateway drug, it might not be the worst thing she could take, but after toking, how far away is drinking and other drugs?- In my school, a large percentage smoke cigarettes, toke (weed), and drink. -I'm 14 years old... And all of that is illegal (Or is it that you just have to be 19 to buy cigarettes?)

Anyways, I have a friend who does weed and drinks, it's scary. Seeing someone turn into someone you don't know. Please talk to her, because in the end, she can only get angry at you for caring, which is a stupid thing to get angry about.


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That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
   
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Re: My Friend Wants to Try Marijuana - March 17th 2012, 01:48 PM

Although I'm not against weed itself I think you did the right thing. Your friend is too young to be making a decision like this about her life or health, while I don't believe the weed itself is bad, I'd be more worried about the type of crowd she'd be falling into.
The user above me brought up some good points about mental illness being unmasked by smoking weed or other drugs sometimes being brought into the mix. If she doesn't want to listen to you she doesn't have to listen to you, and what she said is true it's her life and she'll make her own mistakes and learn from them in her own way. While you're being an extraordinary friend trying to keep her safe and healthy ultimately there's not much you can do aside from telling a teacher or counselor in your school.


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Re: My Friend Wants to Try Marijuana - March 17th 2012, 05:24 PM

I can see why she may get a bit bitchy about it... but I also think what you did was justified. It's okay to be concerned for someone, especially someone you've been friends with/known for like forever. I am not exactly for or against weed personally; I don't do it myself, used to for nearly a year, but cut it out when I hit about 18. (I am now 20) I wouldn't do it again.

I believe it can sometimes be a gateway drug... so therefore anyone who chooses to do it needs to be aware of that, in my opinion.

Anyway, if she is going to do it, I guess she'll do it... but to be honest I don't see that much wrong in you just being worried about her. Hope things work out between you two.


   
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Re: My Friend Wants to Try Marijuana - March 17th 2012, 07:25 PM

There are a lot of issues here, beside pot, and beside the appropriateness of your giving your opinion. I'll answer the latter up front, b/c it's the easier one: Yes, you did the 'Right' thing. When people make the choice to inform others of their decisions on things..new things...then they really do have to expect a response. That's the whole point, you know..people tell b/c they want something in return, usually your approval or permission. The speaker wants permission, the listener usually thinks they just want an opinion...what you learned here is that isn't the case, the expectations are different, and that's the rub....Your friend wanted your approval, and she didn't get it. So, now she's angry. Strike one against her. If she was so sure this was the right thing to do, she didn't need to tell you..or at least before she did it.

The other, more complicated issues concern judgment (hers), peer pressure, impulse control, etc. The hard part is watching people we care about making truly bad choices and not being able to really stop them...all we can do is give an honest opinion and hope that the history we have with them, the trust that resulted, allows us to have some influence over those other factors. In this case, it doesn't seem like that will happen.

Your friend will need to find her own way here, and there might not be a whole lot you can do about it. However, don't confuse her inability to respond to the soundness of your judgement or accept what you have to offer with you having done the 'Wrong' thing. Being honest with people is the right thing to do..what they do with, however, is beyond your control.


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