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My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 1st 2009, 09:43 PM

sorry if this is the wrong place to put this but whatever. Ever since i turned 16 my dad has been saying stuff to me and asking me questions. i dont have a big social life and the biggest things i do with my friends is just hang out. But my dad has been saying that should start experimenting with alcohol or as he puts it " get a little tipsy with some friends" like he did at his age. I dont really want to expperiment with alcohol because its just not my thing but like every other teen i want to try smoking . im not talking trynig it then smoking 10 or 20 a day i just want to try it but Im Underage and cant by them . Im wondering weather i should ask me dad seen as though he would be up to buuying me and my friends drink but im scared if its just alcohol he's okay with and i also dont want him to be disappointed in me . i know i worry to much and stuff but id really like some advice xoxo love from emily <3
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 1st 2009, 09:58 PM

Well, if i were you, I'd be praising hallelujah, cause my parents would murder me if they knew i had anything to do with alcohol. But. Thats not to say its right for everyone, or anyone for that matter, and this is one thing your dad can't force you to do.

As for the smoking, I personally am very anti-drug, and i participate actively in the "above the influence" campaign, and my philosophy on that applies to smoking cigarettes as well, as my true mother died from a smoking induced heart attack at age 35.

Though this is a big warning for me- you can make up your own mind. I had friends that tried smoking once, got hooked, and started hanging out with a different, worse crowd. Then i have friends that can smoke every now and then just to take the edge off. It depends on the person and only you know your body.

As for your dad, if you're worried he'd be disappointed, ask him. You seem to have an open relationship, and throwing in a- "whats your thoughts on smoking?" might not be a bad idea.

Best of luck!

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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 1st 2009, 10:14 PM

almost guaranteed he wouldn't buy you smokes

parents care less bout alcohol then they do about smoking
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 1st 2009, 11:44 PM

Hey Emily,

It is hard to know wether your dad would be okay with it or not. While alcohol isn't to great for your health it isn't as detrimental or addictive as cigarettes. However, you need to really think about wether you even want to play games with your health like this. I reccommend doing a little research into the harmful effects of tobacco products. You can find some information Here. Smoking is a hard habit to quit once you start. No one wants to smoke a pack a day and become addicted but of course it isn't something you can always control. Why do you want to start smoking in the first place? I don't think the 'benefits' out weigh the risks and dangers in this case at all. Before making a rash decision really think about what you are doing to your body. Do you want to have a long full life? Take care and give this some thought.

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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 1st 2009, 11:50 PM

I'm sorry to say this, but I'm going to be honest. Your dad is attempting to break the law, and he sounds like a complete loser. You can tell him I said that. What kind of father tries to tell his child to start drinking? I think you should just keep doing what your doing and pay no mind to him. You sound like you'll be fine. If you really want to smoke, just wait until your of age, then you can smoke all you want.

I believe my father has always wanted to me experiment, but I really never did anything outside of sex. He says he's rather have me drink thank drink soda, which is a little upsetting, but I never will. When I was a kid I had a wine cooler or a glass of champagne, but as far as drinking goes. No way.

And also, If a man was trying to get me to drink. Personally, I'd think he was up to no good.


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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 1st 2009, 11:54 PM

I have no clue what your dad would say if you asked him to buy you a pack of cigarets(spelling) jsut to try them...I do know that it never hurts to ask your dad. It seems like you and your dad have a good relationship considering he would let you drink and he would buy the drinks for you. I would just tell him honestly that yo udont want ot trying drinking but you do want to try smoking and see what he says about it maybe he will say okay and buy you a pack or maybe he will say no and explain why he doesnt want you to try smoking. i doubt he will be disapionted in you for asking him...he probley would be disapointed if you do try smoking but get a friend or someone to buy them for you and you never tell hi mand somone else tells him. Having an open discussion baout smoking and how you are couruis(spelling) is probley the best way to go.
Sorry if im repaeting myself.


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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 2nd 2009, 12:21 AM

If you don't want to drink, then don't. Simple as that. I have no idea why a parent would pressure their kid to drink but don't let him. As for smoking- DON'T DO IT. Once you start you're done. I don't know anybody who has just tried "one cigarette". It starts as one and leads to a lifetime of addiction and it's just gross and dirty. Nobody likes kissing an ashtray, anyway.This might sound harsh, but if your dad was willing to buy you cigarettes, he's just being a bad parent.


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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 2nd 2009, 12:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xHolyValorx View Post
I'm sorry to say this, but I'm going to be honest. Your dad is attempting to break the law, and he sounds like a complete loser.
The drinking of alcohol is not illegal at 16 only the purchase of it. If her dad was to buy it and let her drink it then that is legal in itself, the only real doubt would be the place - you can't drink in many public areas but drinking at yours or someone else's home is fine.

It seems that your dad doesn't want you to drink but more that he wants you to have a better social life and he sees drinking as a means to this end because it does lower inhibitions
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 2nd 2009, 04:42 AM

My friend my Brazil had the same thing happened to her. Her mother gave her and her friends alcohol while they had a slumber party. The same thing happens in other countries where drinking seems to be more moderate. In America it is banished and then when the kids start getting it without their parents guiding them... well, good luck.

And she really hates how American gets get trashed at parties all the time. And I will have to agree with her that by completely banning something and making sure kids have no access or guidance will ultimately lead to studity.
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 2nd 2009, 09:30 PM

Hey Emily. :]

Honestly, if you don't want to drink, don't. It's not like he can force it down your throat. I don't get why you're dad is pressuring you to do so, my parents are the exact opposite, but I guess he just wants you to be happy.

As for smoking, don't. Just don't! Smoking is so much worse than drinking in moderation. Smoking does so much harm! It ruins your lungs. Your teeth turn yellow. Your breath smells bad. It causes cancer. Don't go into it with the attitude that you can just stop after one. Cause you don't know that! It's so easy to get addicted to and it could potentially kill you!

Don't drink if you don't want to, and please think very seriously about smoking.

Take care of yourself.
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 6th 2009, 01:37 AM

dont start if you do youll never be able to stop drinking dont listen to your dad i cant believe he would tell you to drink
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 6th 2009, 02:02 AM

I am surprised that he wants you to drink alcohol, most parents don't do that.

However that is also a good thing, especially because you don't have to worry about getting in trouble for going to party! I would love if my parents didn't care, I have to lie about it all the time.
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 6th 2009, 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xHolyValorx View Post
And also, If a man was trying to get me to drink. Personally, I'd think he was up to no good.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking ...
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 6th 2009, 01:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xHolyValorx View Post
I'm sorry to say this, but I'm going to be honest. Your dad is attempting to break the law, and he sounds like a complete loser. You can tell him I said that. What kind of father tries to tell his child to start drinking?
I think you're being very unfair and quite naive. So you were brought up one way, that is not necessarily the right or wrong way. People tackle parenting in different ways, I think the way the OP's father is tackling alcohol is a sensible one.
Giving your child freedom, and your acceptance to them drinking takes out the 'rebellion' of it. If you as a parent are buying the alcohol you can regulate what they are drinking. Young people abuse alcohol, all the OP's father is trying to do, is introduce the alcohol at a slightly younger age in an attempt to eradicate the novelty of the idea later on in life.

However, if the OP should chose not to drink then that is for them to decide.
Smoking is a different thing to alcohol... If it's something you desperately want to experiment with then discuss it with your father as an adult. If he refuses then wait a few years. Smoking isn't something wonderful... I have smoked on and off since the age of 13 and already feel the effects that it is taking upon my body. Drinking once a week moderately is a perfectly fine habit.
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 6th 2009, 03:09 PM

hey, I was allowed to try alcohol when I was younger. I mean a sip, or a glass with my parents, maybe he is just wanting to do the same, since I for one didn't sit out on the streets, as I had no need to rebel.

We don't know the extent of this, so I dont think the people who posted above should be so defensice. Every child, and every parent makes mistakes, nobody is perfect.
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 6th 2009, 04:36 PM

This is thread is not meant to be a debate on parenting practices. If you want to continue your debate please take it out of this forum as it is dedicated to issues on drugs and alcohol not good or bad parenting. Please keep posts on topic. Thanks a million!



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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 6th 2009, 10:48 PM

I havent asked him about the ciggerates yet but after all your replys i just think that he wants me to be a bit more social. i havernt got a big social life and when he was my age he did like most the girls and boys my age. i definately dont think he was doing it for reasons like a few of you said. especially because around the time i was born there so much stuff in the news and other things about poedophiles and stuff like that so i think thats the reason why hes been distant from me my whole life and i can understand that now im older he want to have a better relationship with me with out being scrutinized liked some of you did with even knowing anything about him. i hope this clarifys somethings with some of you and thanks to the rest of you who have been realy supportive and i am sorry that i ranted .

Love From Emily <3
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 8th 2009, 05:50 PM

Hey Emily,

Try to understand that the people who jumped to conclusions about your dad only had your best interests at heart. Not everyone is a good person and you're right we don't know your dad so we don't know if he is a good person or not. There are ways to be social without drinking. If you decide to start then it should be because it is something you want and not something someone else wants for you. It is time for you to make decisions for your self. Make smart choices and take care.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 8th 2009, 05:55 PM

i think you should ask him about it.
just to try it.
maybe he just wants to teach you a lesson by letting you try it, because he assumes you wont like it.
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 10th 2009, 02:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by soul View Post
This is thread is not meant to be a debate on parenting practices. If you want to continue your debate please take it out of this forum as it is dedicated to issues on drugs and alcohol not good or bad parenting. Please keep posts on topic. Thanks a million!
I think that is the point of the post though. It's something her father has decided to let her do. Determining whether or not the fathers point is a valid one contributes significantly to the problem. Many people will have different opinions on the matter, naturally.
   
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Re: My Dad Wants Me To Drink?? - April 15th 2009, 03:35 AM

Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
If you really want to try smoking then in my opinion it would be far better to ask your Dad rather than trying it behind his back, have an adult conversation with him, and let him know that you're just curious and not intending to start smoking "10 or 20 a day", he may well dissaprove, but you know your father the best so you will have to judge that yourself and make the decision of asking him now, or waiting until you yourself are old enough to buy cigarettes.
Keep Well
   
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