I feel like anything I do is never enough.

[dani99]

For the last week, I have been craving pizza. But it's this certain pizza called New York pizza that is so good. I've told my mom about how I still want it everyday, but I haven't gotten it. Well, she FINALLY told me yesterday (Sunday) me and her could go out and get some. So, we went and to get some and they were closed (apparently they recently started closing on Sundays). So, she promised me we would go tonight (Monday).

Before we left yesterday, she told me we would go if I did all of my chores (laundry). So I did 4 loads of EVERYONE's laundry before we left. Washed, dried, ironed, folded, ect. I got my room cleaned up and watched my baby sister while she got ready. I had another load drying and another washing when she was ready to leave, and she told me to finish when we got home. After finding out it was closed, we went to church. Then, I made dinner for everyone, and later on finished the dry load and put the washed load before I went to bed.

My mom always wakes me up in the morning, and she woke me up later than normal (not my fault. I can't wake up from an alarm because sound doesn't wake me up, only touch does). So I was in a rush getting ready because if I miss the bus, my mom gets super pissed. So in my time of running around getting ready, there were a few things not done.

-I didn't put the ironing board up and left it in my room
-Bed wasn't made
-The last load that was dry wasn't folded and put away and what not.

But, I did make the bus. It was barely, though.

So, when I got home - I asked if we could still go if I quickly made my bed, put the ironing board up, and folded the rest of the laundry (it was a fairly small load, would probably take 5-10 minutes to fold)

She said no. Because it wasn't done by last night. Even if I was so busy last night and didn't get it all done and I did so much for her, she said is wasn't enough. She called me lazy. I'm pretty mad about it right now, but didn't have much to say to her. I'm still really mad about it, and I'm working on respecting her more (since she told me it's disrespectful to complain to her about things and get mad at things she does and complain about them) so, I'm working on not doing that as much. I don't think she understands her acting like this makes it really hard.

I've got very bad anger issues, and right now all of my stress built up is making me want to punch a hole in the wall (I'm not going to, though, but I'm still really mad).

She promised "Get the rest done tonight and we will go tomorrow"

Yeah, sure. I already got it done. I'm sure we won't go tomorrow. She never keeps her promises. She breaks them then calls me names and gets mad at me.

I clean my room. I do technically 5 loads of laundry non stop. Go to church with her so she wouldn't be lonely. Cook dinner. Watch her baby.

I'm told it's not enough and that I'm lazy. It's not really about the pizza, but the fact that she broke a promise and called me all of those things when I worked for hours while everyone else sat on their butts and watched T.V

Maybe I'm over reacting. What do you all think? Comments of advice and opinions are actually wanted at the moment.

[Chris.]

Hi Danielle.

I don't think you are over reacting one bit. You have the right to be mad, upset, and disappointed. I'm not going to act like I'm a counselor, or have a social work degree (because I don't), however I have feeling that there has been alot of past issues between your mother and yourself that have damaged the relationship. I feel like the communication (or at times; lack thereof) is also damaging the relationship, but I feel that the communication is lacking is on purpose so that no one explodes out of anger, and so that negative confrontations are avoided.

The truth is, I think you guys need to be in a controlled environment (like monthly family counseling sessions) so that the communication is re-established and at the same time is controlled (so you don't get angry and punch something, or so that your mom doesn't break down, and/or get angry as well). I can sit here and tell you that you have the right to be angry and try to make you feel better - but that does no one good because you will be back posting in a few days/weeks with a similar situation. Nothing will improve without better communication. I normally recommend confronting parents and telling them how you feel, but because I have a strong sense of something happening in the past, and then with you having anger issues, I don't see that being very helpful to the situation. Maybe you can try writing a letter expressing your feelings? Telling your mom that you are trying your best, and you just want her to be able to keep her promises. If you don't feel that writing a letter will accomplish anything (or even if you do write it and everything still stays the same), then the next best action is to actually get a third party involved and sit down and talk in a controlled environment. I know this seems extreme, or maybe even impossible, but you have to try - otherwise nothing will improve, and you will continue to be upset and continue to face similar situations like this one.



Best wishes,
Chris

[dani99]

I know, but she is so busy for my baby sister that she just doesn't have much time normally. Thank you, though.