TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 6th 2009, 04:21 AM

To me, having someone as my best friend, they're like family, they come before everyone else. One of my best friend, or a guy who I thought was one...puts everyone before me because he thinks I'm gonna always be there. He's only there when he wants to be there and it's annoying. We finally hung out after months and months of not hanging out because he's "so busy" now. And we were gonna hang out yesterday, Sunday, but he ditched me for his new girlfriend who he just started dating. My sister once pointed out, he's known this girl for about a month now and he's known me for about a year...yet he ditches me for her. He sees her in school, not me, we live at lest 15 minutes away. I'm kind of sick of being put last and everything having to be around him. He use to drop everything to see him, now I'm sick of it. He's not my only friend and I have better things to do. I mean, I waited up till 2:30 when I had to wake up at 9:30 to work 7 hours and he didn't even call like he promised. I'm annoyed that he does this crap to me, I'm sick of being pushed around by him, and I'm sick of losing people because I'm defending him when he doesn't deserve. I've tried to leave, but I always come back because he's helped me and I know it's, "Well, think of all the bad things he's done. Not how sweet he can be when he wants to be." I just can't leave and I don't know what to do. Our friendship is killing my slowly and I know. I'm cutting again, not eating, and doing this weird thing when my hairbands which is hurting my wrists, but I am in therapy for it all too...I just want to get better, but I don't think I can with him around.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Simply Complicated
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
*~*Simply_Devine*~*'s Avatar
 
Name: Bella
Gender: Female
Location: Wisconsin

Posts: 15
Join Date: April 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 6th 2009, 06:28 AM

Hey Jessie, My name is Bella its nice to meet you. I've read your entire post an I have only one question for you. Have you told him any of this? I know he may not be willing to listen to you,but you could at least try.

When you tell him be nice but firm at the same time. Let him know that everything he's doing is destroying your friendship with him little by little. That you don't appreciate being the last person he wants to hang out with. For some reason he still blows you off try seeing how you'll do with out him.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Music Offline
Thoroughly medicated
I've been here a while
********
 
Music's Avatar
 
Name: Richard
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Alberta, Canada

Posts: 1,575
Blog Entries: 12
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 6th 2009, 06:47 AM

As Bella said above, you really need to talk to him about this. There's no way you could possibly solve this problem without verbalizing it with him. If you can't talk to him about it, or he won't talk with you about it, then you need to find a way to move on because he isn't worth your time if he's constantly standing you up and if the relationship seems to be one sided.
Friendships are give and take, and if you're the only one giving then something is wrong.


Member since 2005
  Send a message via MSN to Music  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
Tash-la
I've been here a while
********
 
Strider's Avatar
 
Name: Nat
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: A broken glass picture

Posts: 1,448
Join Date: January 19th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 6th 2009, 09:39 PM

I agree with the other users in saying that you really need to talk to your friend. It's not fair that you are always putting him first and he doesn't care much to put in the same effort.

That said, just know that even though he is your best friend, he is allowed to have other friends too. I think it's rude if he planned something with you and canceled to hang out with someone else, but it's fine if he had planned something with someone else earlier. It might be a good idea to take that into consideration, and maybe make some tentative back up plans with another friend if this guy drops out. You are allowed to hang out with other people too.

Friends are really important, and I think it's great that you care so much about your best friend, but there is someone who comes before best friends- that's you. Your well being is just as, and more important than this guy. You deserve to feel good about yourself and be happy. Don't let how this guy is treating you get in between that. It's not worth it.

Stay strong. Message me if you want to talk
Nat.


http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/40/signaturep.png
The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
faded rainbow Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
faded rainbow's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 91
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 9th 2009, 10:42 PM

know exactly what your going through ive recently been through that with a friend who ive known 17 yrs, we've sort of talked and sort of sorted things but i cant see her ever changing we're fine till she geta new bf then its him over everybody else

we arent ever gona be best friends again but somehow shes too important to me for me to let go, 17 yrs is a long time

i guess when it comes down to it you have to work out how important that person is to you and whether or not they really are a 'best friend' and most iportantly tell him how you feel about it all maybe he doesnt realise what hes doing,


im just so tired of being here
suppresed by all my childish fears

these wounds wont seem to heal
this pain is just too real
theres just too much that time cannot erase

waterloo road fans http://petitions.tigweb.org/saveeddie
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 10th 2009, 04:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by faded rainbow View Post
know exactly what your going through ive recently been through that with a friend who ive known 17 yrs, we've sort of talked and sort of sorted things but i cant see her ever changing we're fine till she geta new bf then its him over everybody else

we arent ever gona be best friends again but somehow shes too important to me for me to let go, 17 yrs is a long time

i guess when it comes down to it you have to work out how important that person is to you and whether or not they really are a 'best friend' and most iportantly tell him how you feel about it all maybe he doesnt realise what hes doing,
The thing is, I told him how I felt and then he didn't get it...so I put it in a way he could. Saying, "It's like your girlfriend has a gun to my head and I know he's gonna pull the trigger, but I hope she doesn't. Then, once she does...the friendship is over. Sooner or later, when you guys break up...I'm not gonna be here anymore." I think he got it, but I'm not fully sure.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
wtp Offline
Banned
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
wtp's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male

Posts: 200
Join Date: February 13th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 10th 2009, 04:51 AM

Girls have the strangest way of looking at friendships...
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 11th 2009, 05:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
Girls have the strangest way of looking at friendships...
He's been my best friend for about a year and he just got a girlfriend. I went from always seeing...to never seeing him.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
wtp Offline
Banned
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
wtp's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male

Posts: 200
Join Date: February 13th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 11th 2009, 06:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessielove View Post
He's been my best friend for about a year and he just got a girlfriend. I went from always seeing...to never seeing him.
That makes sense.

He's not going to be able to hang out with his gf 24/7 though. He'll soon realize that he can't throw away his friends just because he got a gf.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 11th 2009, 07:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
That makes sense.

He's not going to be able to hang out with his gf 24/7 though. He'll soon realize that he can't throw away his friends just because he got a gf.
That's a good one, this guy has to ask his girlfriend to pretty much even talk to me because he wants to "respect her." when he's known me for a year and been dating her for about month.
With me, to date me, you have to be okay with my best friends. They're my life. With him, he doesn't even care about me anymore.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
sphynx Offline
A Work In Progress
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
sphynx's Avatar
 
Name: Claire
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Far From Home

Posts: 638
Join Date: March 7th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 11th 2009, 08:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessielove View Post
That's a good one, this guy has to ask his girlfriend to pretty much even talk to me because he wants to "respect her." when he's known me for a year and been dating her for about month.
With me, to date me, you have to be okay with my best friends. They're my life. With him, he doesn't even care about me anymore.
I wouldn't necessarily say this is true... Though I get where you're coming from, as I'm the same way with my closest friends, and it's the worst thing in the world for me to have to put up with being shoved aside and treated as though they can do whatever they like and I'll always put up with it and I'll always be here, what's happening with him isn't specific to him. What I mean is, a lot of people let their significant others have a significant impact on who they do and don't hang out with. I agree with you, it's not at all fair (she may even be threatened by you, to be honest), but it's the way it happens in a lot of relationships. Right now, it's really up to you whether you want to wait it out or not. I just wanted to say that it may very well not be because he doesn't care, but because of the nature of this relationship that he's in.

xo Claire




Clean since 01.08.09
  Send a message via MSN to sphynx  
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 11th 2009, 06:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sphynx View Post
I wouldn't necessarily say this is true... Though I get where you're coming from, as I'm the same way with my closest friends, and it's the worst thing in the world for me to have to put up with being shoved aside and treated as though they can do whatever they like and I'll always put up with it and I'll always be here, what's happening with him isn't specific to him. What I mean is, a lot of people let their significant others have a significant impact on who they do and don't hang out with. I agree with you, it's not at all fair (she may even be threatened by you, to be honest), but it's the way it happens in a lot of relationships. Right now, it's really up to you whether you want to wait it out or not. I just wanted to say that it may very well not be because he doesn't care, but because of the nature of this relationship that he's in.

xo Claire
He's put up with a lot of my stuff, he even spends hours on end up with me when something happens or something doesn't, just to prove to me he's still here. I can't leave him, but I mean...I don't want this girl ruining our friendship that we've worked so hard to keep alive after everything. She shouldn't feel threatened by me, I told him I'd never do anything with him again and if I did, I'd kill myself because I'm not going through him hurting me again. Plus, I like his co-worker and he knows that because I finally asked the guy out.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
sphynx Offline
A Work In Progress
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
sphynx's Avatar
 
Name: Claire
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Far From Home

Posts: 638
Join Date: March 7th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 11th 2009, 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessielove View Post
He's put up with a lot of my stuff, he even spends hours on end up with me when something happens or something doesn't, just to prove to me he's still here. I can't leave him, but I mean...I don't want this girl ruining our friendship that we've worked so hard to keep alive after everything. She shouldn't feel threatened by me, I told him I'd never do anything with him again and if I did, I'd kill myself because I'm not going through him hurting me again. Plus, I like his co-worker and he knows that because I finally asked the guy out.
Sometimes we're threatened even when we're assured and reassured nothing's ever going to happen. Some of us are more insecure than others, and because of this, we get jealous more easily. It's easier to force our significant partners into not talking about who we felt threatened by than to actually deal with the fact that they're friends and nothing more. It's easier to console jealousy with "she's out of his life" than with "I trust he won't do anything with her." I'm not saying this is right, by any means, as it is, in fact, the wrong way to go about handling such situations. I'm simply saying that just because you'd do well enough to leave him alone when he's in a relationship, that's not going to ease how threatened she may feel.

Congratulations on finally asking out your co-worker. I hope things work out for you. And I hope things work out for you with your friend too,. Chances are, based on the way things happen in most cases, they probably will, but it may take him some time, and it's really up to you whether or not you want to wait it out. He's young, he's infatuated, and these two things tend to make for "let's spend every waking minute together!" when it comes down to his partner. He needs to learn how to balance his time between his significant other and his friends, but he's going to need to do it in his own time. It's a lesson most, if not all, teenagers have to learn, and how fast it's learned depends on the student.

xo Claire





Clean since 01.08.09
  Send a message via MSN to sphynx  
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
wtp Offline
Banned
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
wtp's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male

Posts: 200
Join Date: February 13th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 11th 2009, 08:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessielove View Post
That's a good one, this guy has to ask his girlfriend to pretty much even talk to me because he wants to "respect her." when he's known me for a year and been dating her for about month.
With me, to date me, you have to be okay with my best friends. They're my life. With him, he doesn't even care about me anymore.
He's screwing up then, when they break up he won't have any friends left. Find another best friend what's so great about this guy anyway?
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 12th 2009, 04:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
He's screwing up then, when they break up he won't have any friends left. Find another best friend what's so great about this guy anyway?
I had four best friends, him, a guy named Caleb, a guy named Viktor, and Val. Caleb doesn't really even speak to me anymore. Viktor pretty much stopped being my friend today and I'm still close with Val. I'm not sure what's so great about him, I just love him to death. I can't let go of someone who's done a lot of things for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sphynx View Post
Sometimes we're threatened even when we're assured and reassured nothing's ever going to happen. Some of us are more insecure than others, and because of this, we get jealous more easily. It's easier to force our significant partners into not talking about who we felt threatened by than to actually deal with the fact that they're friends and nothing more. It's easier to console jealousy with "she's out of his life" than with "I trust he won't do anything with her." I'm not saying this is right, by any means, as it is, in fact, the wrong way to go about handling such situations. I'm simply saying that just because you'd do well enough to leave him alone when he's in a relationship, that's not going to ease how threatened she may feel.

Congratulations on finally asking out your co-worker. I hope things work out for you. And I hope things work out for you with your friend too,. Chances are, based on the way things happen in most cases, they probably will, but it may take him some time, and it's really up to you whether or not you want to wait it out. He's young, he's infatuated, and these two things tend to make for "let's spend every waking minute together!" when it comes down to his partner. He needs to learn how to balance his time between his significant other and his friends, but he's going to need to do it in his own time. It's a lesson most, if not all, teenagers have to learn, and how fast it's learned depends on the student.

xo Claire

I don't get why she has to get this way. I mean, today I found out I really finally want to meet this girl and tell her if she hurts him, I'll hurt her. I wanna see what's so great about this girl that he has to ditch me for her and everything, you know?

His co-worker, but I don't think he likes me anyways...so whatever. I don't know, he keeps saying if he had his license he'd come and visit me, but I know that's a total lie too. He's two years older then me and his mom won't let him get it, but he still wouldn't come.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx


Last edited by Jessielove; April 12th 2009 at 04:15 AM. Reason: Multiple posts have been merged automatically.
  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
sphynx Offline
A Work In Progress
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
sphynx's Avatar
 
Name: Claire
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Far From Home

Posts: 638
Join Date: March 7th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 12th 2009, 08:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessielove View Post
I don't get why she has to get this way. I mean, today I found out I really finally want to meet this girl and tell her if she hurts him, I'll hurt her. I wanna see what's so great about this girl that he has to ditch me for her and everything, you know?

His co-worker, but I don't think he likes me anyways...so whatever. I don't know, he keeps saying if he had his license he'd come and visit me, but I know that's a total lie too. He's two years older then me and his mom won't let him get it, but he still wouldn't come.
Come now, telling her you're going to hurt her should she hurt him is not going to win you any brownie points.

Not to mention it's not any of your business what she does to him. Should she hurt him by ending the relationship, you and him are going to have to accept it and move on with your lives. Should she hurt him in some other way, that will be their issue and the only way you need to be involved is comforting and supporting him through it. I am hoping that I took a sarcastic remark as being a serious one, because if that's something you're really planning to say to her, I feel I'll need to knock some sense into your head. Being said, meeting up with her is not something you can control. You could organise an outing for you and your friends and invite him and his girlfriend to come along, but going out of your way or making a point to meet up with her is going to come across as supsicious, and, frankly, I feel your intentions are a little bit controlling. I still think you're missing my point when I say it probably has nothing to do with you and more with the fact he's currently in the infatuation phase of the relationship, which means almost everything she says goes.

And ah, well, you don't need a dickwad like that in your life. Though I'm not sure I understood you... You say his mom won't let him get it, but "he still wouldn't come." What if he's telling you the truth? What if he doesn't have his licence and what if his mother won't (assuming you meant won't) let him get it and what if he'd really come if he could? All the same, I guess others might recommend you go with your gut and in any case, it doesn't seem like it's working out too well so far. So maybe you're better off without him.

xo Claire





Clean since 01.08.09
  Send a message via MSN to sphynx  
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 12th 2009, 05:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sphynx View Post
Come now, telling her you're going to hurt her should she hurt him is not going to win you any brownie points.

Not to mention it's not any of your business what she does to him. Should she hurt him by ending the relationship, you and him are going to have to accept it and move on with your lives. Should she hurt him in some other way, that will be their issue and the only way you need to be involved is comforting and supporting him through it. I am hoping that I took a sarcastic remark as being a serious one, because if that's something you're really planning to say to her, I feel I'll need to knock some sense into your head. Being said, meeting up with her is not something you can control. You could organise an outing for you and your friends and invite him and his girlfriend to come along, but going out of your way or making a point to meet up with her is going to come across as supsicious, and, frankly, I feel your intentions are a little bit controlling. I still think you're missing my point when I say it probably has nothing to do with you and more with the fact he's currently in the infatuation phase of the relationship, which means almost everything she says goes.

And ah, well, you don't need a dickwad like that in your life. Though I'm not sure I understood you... You say his mom won't let him get it, but "he still wouldn't come." What if he's telling you the truth? What if he doesn't have his licence and what if his mother won't (assuming you meant won't) let him get it and what if he'd really come if he could? All the same, I guess others might recommend you go with your gut and in any case, it doesn't seem like it's working out too well so far. So maybe you're better off without him.

xo Claire

Oh, he knows that's how I am. I'm really protective when it comes to my friends and I don't like seeing them hurt. You hurt a friend of mine, I'm gonna hurt you back. All my friends know that and most of them are the same way, that's how I got this way.

To be honest, if it's my best friend, I make it my business, just like he does the same with me. Nah, I found out last night I'm still not ready to even hear about her. He pretty much gave me the biggest F U ever...so I'm leaving him tonight when he calls because I can't take it. I mean, I'm still in love with him and I'm still not over what he did to me...so I gotta leave. I can't smile about it anymore and say I'm happy for him because I'm not.

No, I know his mom won't let him get it. I know that. I'm saying I know he wouldn't come over if he had one. He'd make up lame excuses like he does now.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
sphynx Offline
A Work In Progress
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
sphynx's Avatar
 
Name: Claire
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Far From Home

Posts: 638
Join Date: March 7th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 13th 2009, 01:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessielove View Post
Oh, he knows that's how I am. I'm really protective when it comes to my friends and I don't like seeing them hurt. You hurt a friend of mine, I'm gonna hurt you back. All my friends know that and most of them are the same way, that's how I got this way.

To be honest, if it's my best friend, I make it my business, just like he does the same with me. Nah, I found out last night I'm still not ready to even hear about her. He pretty much gave me the biggest F U ever...so I'm leaving him tonight when he calls because I can't take it. I mean, I'm still in love with him and I'm still not over what he did to me...so I gotta leave. I can't smile about it anymore and say I'm happy for him because I'm not.

No, I know his mom won't let him get it. I know that. I'm saying I know he wouldn't come over if he had one. He'd make up lame excuses like he does now.
Eh. It tends to cause unnecessary drama - at least it has in my experiences - not to mention it's more proving of immaturity than loyalty. There are ways to be there and to help console your friends through the hard times that don't involve screwing with the lives of somebody else. All it ever does is give that somebody else the upperhand, regardless of whether or not your plan for revenge actually goes through. But perhaps this is because I have never found a logical reason to meddle in a business no one made my own. I have also never understood why I would surrender my personal power and self-control so easily to someone else. In any case, you seem fairly decided for what to do. I'm sorry what happened happened, and that he's treating you the way that he is. It's not right and it's not fair and you don't deserve it. I'm happy to hear you're doing what you need to do to protect yourself. If that means leaving, then so be it.

And ah. Well.. Meh. I give people too many chances, anyways.

xo Claire




Clean since 01.08.09
  Send a message via MSN to sphynx  
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
Hyper Sonic Offline
Banned
I can't get enough
*********
 
Hyper Sonic's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Location: England

Posts: 2,374
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 13th 2009, 01:14 AM

To use an analogy: the cooker is on fire, the taps are overflowing and the phone is ringing. Now which would you do last?

In this metaphor you are the phone, you're important but not as important in the immediate future as some of the problems his friends may be having. He knows you're there for him (in this metaphor you will ring back) and he can leave you while helping others. Either subconsciously or consciously he is letting you be because you're a stable influence in his life or he thinks you don't need him.
   
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
jaaaaay Offline
Happy to help anyone. PM me.
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jaaaaay's Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 36
Join Date: April 10th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 13th 2009, 01:24 AM

I think you should try and make the effort to meet up with him sometime, although he might not deserve you making the effort, it might remind him of how much fun you used to have with him. If that doesnt make any difference then talk to the guy. If he's such a good friend you should be able to talk to him about this. And if all those things dont work, then maybe he isnt a real friend at all.
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 13th 2009, 06:16 AM

I just left him and I feel the worst. I don't think I can go on without him. I mean, I can't stop crying and it's way too much for me to handle...


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
YouHearMe? Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
YouHearMe?'s Avatar
 
Name: Tyler
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: Right Here

Posts: 93
Join Date: April 13th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 14th 2009, 12:53 AM

I know how you feel; there have been times when I gave up talking to my best friend because I didn't like the way it felt when she was with her boyfriend. I found that she's too important to me to give up.
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
***
 
Jessielove's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I thought best friend meant no one was before you. - April 14th 2009, 01:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YouHearMe? View Post
I know how you feel; there have been times when I gave up talking to my best friend because I didn't like the way it felt when she was with her boyfriend. I found that she's too important to me to give up.
The thing is, we agreed it's better for me. That I have to leave for me so I can find happiness. When I'm around him or talk with him, it's a roller-coaster because I still have feelings for him since we've never had time apart after I told him I loved him. Plus, he's so hung up on his girlfriend, it's hard for me to deal with as his best friend since we never had time together and now it's even less. Then add I still love him. I mean, I know I'm gonna more the less end up killing myself without him, but...it's hard for me because I know I can't be the best person to him with everything going on.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

  Send a message via AIM to Jessielove Send a message via Skype™ to Jessielove 
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
friend, meant, thought

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.