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xxxskittlesxxx Offline
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Name: Sophie
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Question how can i keep this a secret? - April 6th 2009, 11:01 AM

my dad sent a text to me by accident wen it was supposed to be sent to my brother going "thanks for the fags i'll pay u back wen i next see you" then another to me saying "ignore that last txt , was ment or your brother"
my mum would freak if she knew he smoked
i am SO SO SO angry after all the grief and not talking to me when he found out i smoked yet he does this?!?!?!?!?!
i just cant keep this a secret from my family when its hurting me badly.
i'm so dissapointed with him! I wouldnt be so bothered if he hadnt tryed to kick me out the hosue and told me how dissapointed he was with me. But this is just low!
what do i do?


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Re: how can i keep this a secret? - April 6th 2009, 04:15 PM

Firstly, I would have a talk with your brother to get is story, to see if your dad is telling the truth.

If it turns out that he does, talk to your dad. Tell him that you think it is unfair that you have put in effort to not smoke (which is a reason he threatened to kick you out), but he is able to smoke behind your mother's back.

Personally, since he is your father, I think you should respect his decision to smoke, as it is not a terrible thing to do, but just the fact he is keeping it from your mother is disappointing. I wouldn't tell your mother because, it would make matters worse if she found out from anyone other than your father, because it would further highlight the secrecy. Maybe you could nicely tell him, "I know you like smoking, but this is really going to hurt mom with you going behind her back". Point him in the right direction in order for him to stop, or tell your mother himself.

I hope this situation clears up soon. PM me if you want to talk~~
   
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Re: how can i keep this a secret? - April 6th 2009, 10:04 PM

Hi Sophie,

I don't think telling on your dad would really solve anything. If he smokes, that's his decision. He may be against you doing it because he doesn't like that he does it, but he just can't quit. I'm not too sure what he's thinking right now, so the best thing to do would be to talk to him about it, as Vincent said.

Parents want what's best for their kids, keep that in mind. He probably didn't want to influence you to smoke just as much as he didn't want your mom to know. He might not want you to go along the same path.

I still encourage you to talk to him about it and ask if he plans on ever telling your mom. That's his job, if he does decide, not yours.

Nat.


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