i had no idea

[EndureEmo]

i had no idea i was making my friend feel like this!
i made her feel excluded in her own home always sleeping over there and going on walks with my bestfriend iv known for years and her boyfriend, and leaving shaz by her self at home. i feel horible, i found out while her mum was in a rage with me because i asked to sleep over again and shaz tells her mum everything so her mum thought i was a hoible person doing it on purpus.

if i had know for a second i was making shaz sad and feel excluded in her own house i would have never let it get to this.

[Whisperer]

Hey Eliza-Grace,
Have you told your friend this? I had the same issue with my friends bottling things up they didn't like about me for years and years that I'd known them. Then just one random day a tiny thing set them off and they start going on and on about things I did wrong 5 years ago in our friendship. I've finally been able to move on but what I've learned is that a huge part of friendship is constant communication. Such as talking to each other WHEN these things came up, not keeping them inside until we explode at each other. See if you can talk to your friend about this. Let her know you didn't know how she felt. Encourage her to tell you rather then going straight to her mom. You can't read her mind, you had no idea this was upsetting her. Do your best to try and establish some better ways to communicate and don't hesitate to include your moms in this situation if it's too hard to do alone. I'm sorry you feel so bad and I hope you guys can work out your friendship.
Take care,
Alessa

[Chris.]

I think that the main problem here is the lack of communication. Communication is key in all relationships/friendships. I would tell your friend (face-to-face, or via letter), that you are sorry you made her feel that way. That you never meant it to get to this, and that you will try to rekindle the friendship and include her in things. Tell her that you want to still be friends, and you want to hangout with her soon.

Unfortunately, things like this happen alot, but because no one communicates anymore, thus the other party doesn't realize what is going on. After all, we are all humans, and we cant read minds. So communicate with her; rekindle the friendship, and the outcome will be positive.


Best wishes,
Chris

[EndureEmo]

thank you for the replys
i was thinking about writting her a letter, than talking her for lunch or something, i just want to start it off slow again, any ideas what we could do for the afternoon, WITH A LIMITTED AMOUNT OF MONEY! i dont get payed till next month. so everything i do usally comes from jobs i do around mums house, but i havent been home in weeks so i havent done any jobs ;/

[Whisperer]

Well it depends how the weather is near you but maybe a walk around the park. My favorite place to chill is the cafe in random bookstores

[EndureEmo]

or she can go get f***ed she has thretened to kick jimmy out of the house now just because shes not happy with me not always being there, she bosses us all around when im there even visiting, she told jimmy (my friend) that shes lucky shes still even having her baby after all the stress jimmy has put her through... jimmy has done nothing wrong its her house too, she get bossed around and mothered by someone just a few months older than her...

rant rant rant ill stop...

[PSY]

So this friend is pregnant as well? Yikes - talk about hormones influencing the way you behave toward others! I don't think this is a simple black-and-white case. You have a friend who is clearly being rude and bossy, but she's also feeling isolated and under a lot of stress due to being pregnant.

If I were you, I'd pull her aside and apologize for excluding her. You don't need to make it a special occasion or pay for things - you can do this today, or the next time you see her. Just be honest and tell her that you spoke to her mom, you had no idea you were hurting her, you're sorry, and you don't want this to happen again. Encourage her to share things with you vs. bottling them up, and assure her that you will continue to support her as a friend. Of course, if she continues to be abusive even after your humble apology, all bets are off - you don't need to subject yourself to that kind of behavior.

[EndureEmo]

its ohkay now jimmy and her boyfriend have moved in with me untill they can get a flat of there own... <3