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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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roinujo1 Offline
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Problems - July 17th 2012, 11:26 PM

Well, for the past 7 years my mom has been displaying some odd behavior towards me. First off, she always says that I have no friends because I don't go out that much. ( I do have friends, I just don't hang out with them out of school.) She says that I am a weirdo because of it. She also says that I should go walk outside and walk around our apartment complex to "learn about life." This makes no sense at all to me. Does it makes sense to you? Do the things I do make me weird?

Another thing is every time I am watching TV, she walks in to my room and says: "Why are you watching that stupid show" She even said this when I was watching the freaking News! How is News stupid?

One other thing that really irks me is whenever she says something that I think is just wrong and start to argue back on the subject she will say: "This is my house and I can do whatever I want" or " I will send you to live with your stupid Dad in Africa." Its really annoying.

The ironic thing is that she always says that I should talk to her, but there is no talking to her. If my opinion doesn't agree with hers, then it is wrong.

I have come to the point where the only reason I could lover is for the fact that she has the resources necessary for my survival. No relationship whatsoever. Almost like a business deal. My dad used to be abusive to my mom, but now I start wondering " Did she deserve it?" Because this woman seriously does not know when to shut up. Sometimes I think she thinks that I am more stupid than her because she gave birth to me, which is so untrue. I know I am smarter than her. Whenever I deliver my own opinion on a topic, I always bring facts to the table to support it. She just says her opinion is better because sh thinks its better.

She also is a racist. One time, I opened the door to a Caucasian male. He said my mom and my dad owed him money. I told my mom he came and she just flipped on me. She called me a dumbass and said I was stupid for opening a door for a white person because she thinks that they are all crazy psychopaths like the one she reads on yahoo.

Last edited by roinujo1; July 17th 2012 at 11:32 PM.
   
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Re: Problems - July 18th 2012, 11:51 PM

Well, to answer one of your questions, no one deserves to be abused, no matter how annoying they are. Whatever it is your mom said or did in the past, that did not give your dad the right to abuse her.

It doesn't sound like your mom is entirely "there," if you know what I mean. I'm not saying she's mentally ill, but her ability to think rationally is definitely lacking. It may not even be something she's aware of - in her mind, based on how she was raised and how she has lived her life, her behavior may be completely "normal." Of course, you know differently, but how can you convince someone that they're not "normal"? The answer, sadly, is that you almost never can in situations like these.

As much as I hate to admit it, it doesn't sound like you have many options, other than not allowing these ridiculous comments to affect you whenever possible. You can choose to either get mad at your mom and let everything get under your skin, or you can take a different approach - think something along the lines of, "Poor Mom, she's so irrational, I feel sorry for her, it must be lonely not having any friends because of the way she acts," and so on. Suddenly, it becomes much easier to let comments about TV shows and white people go, because you see your mom in a different light.






   
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