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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question i need to know if there is anyone else like me? and i just need some advice - April 10th 2009, 05:33 AM

Im 13 and im a girl and this is basically me. my whole life i have easily talked to adults like i am one. ive always been told im very articulate. im not like any other kid. ive never felt like a kid. ive always felt like a 30 year old trapped in side a kids body. i never disobeyed my parents..ever. cuz there was no reason. i never get punished, cuz i never do anything wrong. I have trouble relating to my friends because ive never gone through their problems. i have so much stress. i am constantly listening to my dad talking about how were gonna lose our house cuz of the economy, but then my moms like dont worry we wont but i know we will. most kids could care less about their future and careers, theyd rather just get by in school cuz it doesnt matter to them. not to me, i have had a 4.0 since pre-k and i have my whole future planned out. high school and college courses, internships (im going to be a veterinarian). Ive even done some volunteer work for my application to vet school. ive already written a resume, and practiced for job interviews. I know exactly where i want to live. oh and just to let you know, i just started 8th grade. so on top of the stress of getting perfect grades (as vet school is more competitive then med school) i have friend issues. my dad is always complaining about how he never had friends and how he chased them all away. well these are my friend troubles: at my school (8th grade) i used to be at the bottom of the bottom group of people. hence, the nerds, geeks,weirdos etc. anyways there is only one friend that really is my friend in that group. i would say i am a relatively nice looking easy-to-be-around could-be-popular kind of girl. I talk to popular girls all the time and we get along fine. in my group there is this one girl every one hates. she is fat and weird and burps in everyone's face and should not be considered a girl. then there is this annoying girl who follows everyone around like a lost puppy. and then a slut who people think is a lesbian.i NEVER wanted to be friends with them in the first place! i didnt ask for them to follow me around like lost puppies and call me their bestest friend. seriously u say hi to one person and aall the suden ur their bff! i cant take them, i dont want to be their friend! i cant take the burping and s.l.u.t.t.y dancing! the guy i liked, well 2 of my friends found out so at the dance they chased him down and tryed to make him dance with me. they scared the shit out of him and now he wont even look at me! i need to get away from them! (the preeceding was about 4 mo. ago)
and now currently i got out of that group and have been trying to get into this one group and i know the most popular girl in the group cuz were on the same vball team. ive been sitting at the same lunch table with them for 2 mo. and playing volleyball at recess with them. but they never ask me to go to the movies or the mall and i feel like ill never have any friends. cuz i never have (technicly). i dont know what to do! i dont now what to say around them and i have a habit of getting nervous and saying something stupid! help! andive never had a boyfriend. i really like this guy at my school, but unfortunatley, i was a wierd kid when i was young, and ive gone to the same school with the same people since i was 7. all guys see is my stupid, weird kid self, and not the teen mature fun to be around, sweet girl i am now. ive changed but no one can see past that! i so just want a boyfriend, someone who can be there to hold my hand, and hug me, and stand up for me. and incase your gonna say "hun, your too young for a boyyfriend", every and i mean every girl in 8th grade has had at least 2 exes and are dating currently. i even saw a forth grader holding hands with her boyfriend! im so sad i just want to cry and be emotionless until college so i can tune out all the stupid "populars" and the "geeks" and the memories of people who used to make fun of me that dont anymore because ive changed but im always wondering if they still make fun of me behind my back or in there head. please give me some advice, or cheer me up, no boy has ever liked me, and probly never will. i dont go to the school dances cus i dont have any1 to dance with. ill problly end up skipping prom just like my mom did cuz she had no one to go with. just to let you now i am pretty im not ugly, im skinny not fat, and i have curves. i have a good personality but no one ever gives a s.h.i.t enough to want to get to know me.
but the group of girls im trying to fit in with have been friends for like 3 years and its not like im a new kid trying to fitin cuz theyd probably welcome me with open arms but for some reason, if you fall into a group you dont like your doomed for life cuz nobody wants to be your friend for some reason.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i need to know if there is anyone else like me? and i just need some advice - April 10th 2009, 01:49 PM

i've been there!!!
all i can say is hold in there. Have u got friends outside of school? because this makes being in school a lot easier if you have people outside of school u can turn to and talk to when needed.
I hope this helps a little
Take care
Alice
   
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Re: i need to know if there is anyone else like me? and i just need some advice - April 10th 2009, 04:18 PM

Hi there,

You sound like a very responsible and smart person. I think that it's great that you are planning ahead for your life and who you want to be. I'm sure you're going to go far with that kind of planning. Just remember that it's important to have a balance. Go out and have some fun! Get to know your friends better and what they like and what they want to do with their lives. Don't worry about feeling stupid about what you're saying, because you aren't stupid at all. What they say or think doesn't matter. If you think that this isn't the right group to hang around, then find some other people who wont judge you about these kinds of things. Try to feel confident. There is nothing wrong with who you are.

As for the boyfriend thing, I'm not going to say you're too young, but I urge you to think about what you said about the other girls with their two exes apiece. I wouldn't consider that to be anything to be especially proud of. Having a boyfriend doesn't make you a different person. It sounds like you really need someone to back you up and share your feelings, but I think you can find that in a good friendship too. You need to feel confident and proud of yourself, and it's always better to find that in yourself rather than in another person. You have plenty of time to find the right person too. You don't have to rush it.

As for the people who still see you as who you were years ago, they will see differently eventually. Keep being the person you are, and I'm sure they will realize that you aren't your past self. They will grow up from this, don't worry.

Have faith in yourself, you're a great person

Nat.


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Re: i need to know if there is anyone else like me? and i just need some advice - April 11th 2009, 07:16 AM

I can relate to you a lot. I used to be a weirdo, but have happily done away from that, and you're right it definitely takes time.

Don't worry about fitting in with the "popular" group hang out with the people you can relax and have fun with.

You're 13 you shouldn't be at the "why havn't I gone out with anyone yet" stage
...I'm on that stage...

You're pretty and intelligent. Being intelligent is very attractive. Just because your parents never had dates doesn't mean you won't

Relax you've played all your cards right, things will come to you. Don't try to hard with making friends, and a guy will come to you.
   
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Re: i need to know if there is anyone else like me? and i just need some advice - April 13th 2009, 03:06 AM

I'm not going to say that I'm completely like you-- Since I have gotten in trouble for things, and disobeyed my parents numerous times. I do have a decent amount of friends and I enjoy doing "teenager-ish" things.

The things we have in common; I do have my future planned out, and I've been looking for colleges. I know which courses I'm going to take along with that, ect. Plus, politics are interesting, and I am concerned about our economy, so we do have some things in common. (I'm also deeply concerned about the rapid amount of illegal immigrants. I'm not racist, but its causing a huge problem.)

You definitely sound mature, and I could definitely see that you have a large future ahead of you. Don't be concerned about the other kids, cause you are going to make it big by the looks of it. I'm not too good with advice, but that whole boyfriend thing... A lot of kids in my school get boyfriends, but the relationships never last! At this age, most boys are immature and not even worth dating!

You don't need to be in a "popular" group either, cause after high school, popularity means nothing. Don't try to change yourself to fit in either, cause if you need to change yourself just to be friends with somebody, then they're not real friends. In a world like this, finding a decent friend is challenging, and I really hope you find a decent friend that will accept you for who you are.

I hope this helped you at least a little! If it did, I'll be glad! Best of luck! If theres anything else you need to say, you can message me ^~^


~Sabrina
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Re: i need to know if there is anyone else like me? and i just need some advice - April 16th 2009, 03:14 AM

I can really relate. I'm a really adult thinker for my age and take things more seriously than others.
I'm 13 also and have never had a boyfriend and am not part of the popular group. Do I think this matters? No! I'm pretty and fit, but I don't need a boyfriend. It's not like I won't ever be in a relationship if I didn't date at 13. I'm not a popsi, and yet me and my friends manage to have a blast anyway. I like myself.
And why do you think the popular people are so great? They aren't. They're just like you and me. If they aren't going to reach out back to you, you know that there are other friends who will be way better to you. Find them and get to know them! If they're worth having as friends, they'll be kind to you.
And lastly, be confident in you! You're great the way you are, and you are going places with your brains and individuality.
   
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