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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Laura
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Unhappy My Mom Wants Nothing To Do With Me... - January 11th 2009, 01:51 PM

Ok, this is kinda long so i hope you can take the time to read.

PLEASE READ BEFORE:
me and my mom have never really gotten along we always fight. Im very optimistic and she is pessimestic (i dont think i spelled that right). I lived with her from 6th grade all they way until i graduated. She has been in control of me all up until i moved out. ever since then...things have not bee the same, i have never seen somebody act like she has been.

Well Back in September I had this job making 11.00 dollars an hour. It really wasent for me, i just am not able to sit at a computer for 8 hours a day and type stuff from a piece of paper. So my boss had to fire me. i was upset yes but i totally understood. So about a month later me and my boyfriend lost our house (my boyfriend lost his job) and i lost my car because i wasent able to pay for it. We then moved in with my boyfriend's (his name is Danny) parents. They are super nice. Coolest parents ever. As soon as we moved in my boyfriend found a good job but i was not able to. My mom helped me out and bought me a cheap car, and she helped me find a job. when she got me the car we made an agreement that i would pay her a thousand back becasue she had to borrow it from a friend. i agreed. the job she found was working before and after school at an elementary school watching kids from 6a-8:45a and then from 3p-6p. and i had previously made a commitment to picking up my boyfriend up when he got off work(his liscence is suspended becasue of tickets). He works 2nd shift which is from 4pm-12:30am. It was VERY hard doing both. I wasent getting much sleep. He was the breadwinner and i told him i couldnt do it and i wanted to quit my job. i asked him if he would help me pay my mom back until i could find a job. He said he would so i quit. I never told my mom because she is very high strung and likes to be in control of my decisions (hince the car and the job) well about 3 weeks later she called and asked if i was still working. she had an angry tone (as usual) and it was obivous she knew something so i didnt know weather to lie and say yes or just come clean and say i quit but eaither way it was going to start a fight. So i didnt answer. i asked her why she wanted to know and she was getting very irate and starting to yell. and since i would not answer. she hung up. she tried calling back like 3 times and i didnt answer. im 19 years old and if i dont want to listen to yelling then i shouldnt have to. So since i didnt answer, she came by dannys parents house...at the time it was just us. so we didnt answer, becasue we think she is crazy. so after she came and i didnt answer, i started getting nasty voicemails. after a few hours (when danny was at work) she returned. i told his brothers and sisters who had just gotten home from school to not answer the door. they said it was ok and one of their friends and when they answered it, it was my mom...i was angry and scared..my mom is a very mean person and she can be intimidating. so i went outside to talk to her and she just blew up and yelled at me in the front yard of a nice neighborhood making his parents look like white trash. umm i didnt have much to say because she was mainly yelling. i told her though that danny agreed to help pay her the money. so on this day 1/11/08, i owed her money last saturday. danny didnt have the money because he had a low pay from the week of christmas. i told my mom on Tuesday that i couldnt get the money and she would have to wait until this saturday. becasue she came by Monday, and Tuesday of this past week. On Wednesday i guess she had enough..She left me a voicemail about how im a liar and a theif and i do not need to worry about the money for the car she will find a way to make up for it, but she isnt gonna call, or come by the house anymore, shes done with me im not a woman im......nothing. im a bad employee thats why i cant get a job, dont use her friends for a reference dont use her mechanic to fix my car or anything. it didnt surprise me but i was very hurt. My gramma has tried to bring peace between us but it has never worked. i was talking to her on thursday and she didnt believe that my mom had said that so i let her listen to it, she couldnt believe it. so i guess she called and confronted my mom about it because my mom later called me (after she said she wouldnt) and i have been avoiding confrontation so i didnt answer whewn she called and she left a voicemail saying that i could play the voicemail to whoever i want but what i told my gramma wasent true (i dont know how since it was my mom who left the voicemail) and how if she could take legal action she would. and how she said she has the receipt of sale from the lady she bought the car from and she has the title which by the way has only my name on it and says that its a gift and only worth 800$, she also said she has talked to her lawyer.

Never in my 19 years would i have expected my mom to do this. Technically she cant do anything legally except get herself in trouble becasue she holds MY title with her name nowhere on it and even though she ahs a receipt with her name on it with how much she paid for it it still says gift on the title. everything is in my name.

i have thaught about a restraining order because the voicemails are harrassing. and since then i have been really hurt emotionally..yea i do think she is a bitch but she is my mom and the only mom i will ever have and she has turned her back on me and turned a lot of poeple against me. And she is supposively a faithful christian, teaching a sunday school class and goes to church EVERY sunday and wednesday and my stepdad is even a decan.

My dad has told me that something like this was gonna happen but i guess i didnt believe him.

Please if you have any advice about how i can deal with a situation like this PLEASE share, i am open to anything.
   
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Re: My Mom Wants Nothing To Do With Me... - January 11th 2009, 02:19 PM

Well, I read it. I don't know that there is much you can do. Try to find a job obviously, but even if you can't, that is not the real problem. The real problem is with her, not you. I would say that a mother should not get upset about her 19 year old daughter owing her $1000, but I think the real problem is that she wants to control you. She wants to decide how you live your life and when things don't work out she takes it personally. Your mother seems to be extremely insecure and unable to face reality. Its pitiful really, and she needs help.

Sorry that she said those things to you. In my opinion, its not you she does not want. She does not want herself. She sees herself in you.



   
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