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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xXbrooke13Xx Offline
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so...i took off the other night....at 10pm... - April 10th 2009, 02:46 PM

my moher nd i were texting...she asked how my therapy session was cuz she couldnt take me...i said fine,she asked if anything important came up,i said maybe,maybe not....she said like,i said thats confindential information and she said whatever....i said why you getting pissy with me and she said im sick of your games....i asked what games and she said "your mind games...dont tell me you love me i dont care"....how would you have taken that????

i took it as her telling me she doesnt care about me or love me....maybe i over reacted,but i decided i needed to get out of the house after that was said.so i took a shower,got out and change into something warm,and called my cousin.she picked me up from the end of the driveway,my mother says she could bring my cousin up on kidnapping charges,i dont think she could,can she?

but my cousin picked me up and i showed her the texts and told her i did NOT want to go back to tht house tonight...she said ok...maybe she should have called one of my parents to tell them she had me,but she didnt.i sent my father a text aying that i left,that i needed out,and where i was going.

i have seen 3 therapists since i did that,mine,my mothers,and one who gives me my meds(i have been put on Abilify,10mg to start off on).i have been to the therapists building 4 times in a row this week,starting on tuesday.i had my regular appt on tuesday,took off tuesday night,got pulled out of school early wednesday and taken to my mothers therapist,then thursday i had an appt with the meds therapist,then another appt with my therapist tht i did not know about.i feel like im like a pysch case or something now,why did i do this?,thats what everyone keeps asking me.

why i did it,im still not totally sure,i guess that text was the trigger.i've been holding everything in for too long again i guess.i need to distance myself from everyone.my parents told me i killed a part of them that night when i did that,i've fucked up in my relationship yet again i think,my little sister is afraid i'll take off again so she thinks she can sleep in my room every night now when she really cant.i keep hurting everyone,again nd again nd again!!!!!!!!! im fucking sick of it!!!!!! i dont like hurting them,i hate it!!!!!!!

why am i like this?!?!?!?!?!!! maybe i really should take off and not come back.....maybe everyone will get the point and leave me alone and understand that their lives are better without me....

all i do is hurt people,its all i've ever done,and its probably all ill ever do.


~*fixed what was once broken*~

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YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: so...i took off the other night....at 10pm... - April 10th 2009, 03:01 PM

Hey Brooke, I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going that great with your parents. I know it's hard to think about and it doesn't seem fair, but parents aren't always as strong as they appear to be. Your mom probably just snapped a little bit, I'm sure she's under a lot of stress and is worried about you. I don't think she intended at all to tell you that she doesn't love you or care about you. She had a moment of weakness, and soon she will realize it.

As for the kidnapping charge, I'm not sure about that. But I would try to get on good terms with my parents and eventually try to go home. You're young and have a lot of life in front of you, and it would be sad to distance yourself from your parents for the rest of your life. You need them, and they're worried about you. They want you back home. I understand that you're hurting and that what your mom said wasn't the best way to handle things. I think it hurt you so much because you do lover her a lot. Show her that!

PM or VM me anytime, I know this is really difficult for you.

Best of luck and hang in there!


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
xXbrooke13Xx Offline
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Re: so...i took off the other night....at 10pm... - April 10th 2009, 03:16 PM

sorry,forgot to say this,my parents force me back to the house.i donnt think they can press charges for kidnapping though,cuz i called my cousin,i did NOT run away,i just called a family member and asked them if i could stay with them.therefore,not kidnapping.if i would have went to a friends and did this,it could be considered kidnapping,but i went to family so.

but anyways,im "home".

i do not consider this my home,its just a house that i live in.


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: so...i took off the other night....at 10pm... - April 10th 2009, 05:10 PM

hey brooke.

you know, sometimes people say the worst things when they're angry or pissed. But no matter what, you have to remember that your mom still loves you deep inside. miscommunication is a common thing in between parents and children and tempers usually can flare up . Just prove to your parents that you love them, and tell them you're going through a lot at the moment, because you are..

and one thing, always remember that there're always other people around who care and love you. always remember they're there for emotional support and all. And for one thing: i know emotional support can change lives in a whole new fashion, something even therapists cant do. For example: a hug for somebody , just a simple hug, can change their day from bad to to best day ever, because the knowledge because someone cares, is the most comforting knowledge in the world.

and you know, you DONT hurt people. in fact, from the way you say everything, you're probably a caring and wonferful person, and dont you ever forget that.

just remember, even parents make mistakes. Sometimes, parents can make the greatest mistakes of all.. just tell them and reassure them that you still love them deeply, and talk it out heart-to-heart with them.

it is NOT your fault because sometimes, after an emotional blow like that, people probably need time to recover.

and you know, dont let this undermine your self-confidence or anything. And i think i found the cure for all the problems.. and i think its pretty simple.. :

You 've got to reinstill the bonds between your family, so that everyone loves each other wholefully, and is not afraid to show compassion.

sometimes, emotional tensions can make it so the bonds can weaken, but will NEVER shatter. This is because in the very deepest threnches of both the heart of a mom and a daughter, an emotional bond that attracts both of them to each other and leads them to love each other has already been built, and this bond CANNOT be broken.

i'm sure you can make them show that deep loving side, and you should start by showing gestures of love... and i KNOW that you can make your "home" , TRULY be your home again

always ready to help ! update us on how this goes.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: so...i took off the other night....at 10pm... - April 11th 2009, 10:20 AM

hi brooke!
maybe it isnt a good idea to take off again
i mean the obvs care about you a great deal and love you loads or they wouldne be so worried and upset. they dont want you to take off altogether it would not make their lives any better cos they love you but they may end up blaming thmselves for your dissappearance which would not make their lives any better.
can u talk to one of your therapists about how you feel?
xox



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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
xXbrooke13Xx Offline
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Re: so...i took off the other night....at 10pm... - April 12th 2009, 02:09 PM

i cant take off again anyways,they,meaning my parents and my older sister,have made mee promise not to.my sister made me swear to Artemis and Athena that i wont do it again.

the way i feel right now,about my home,the only place i feel i can call home is anywhere where i can be with Lindsay,he's the only person who makes me feel safe anymore,well besides you guys on here.but the way i feel with her.....its unexplainable because its so awsome and great.Lindsay makes me feel safe,loved,happy,good,like i have a purpose.i just feel like if i have no purpose in this house,it is not my home.wherever i can be with Lin is my home,not this place.when i turn 18,im out of her like a bat outta hell.

i only have 2 therapists,the other one is my mothers therapist.one of my therapists gives me my meds,the other one i talk to about stuff.i have a session with her on the 21st,she cant do this week cuz shes already booked.thing is,i need to talk to her withot my mother or father in the room,so i might need to go back to sessions every week,once a week.cuz my mother usually takes up the entire session talking about what she thinks and how she feels,um,excuse me,but isnt that why she has her own therapist?!?!?!sheesh,i mean really,this is for me,not her,i dont have alot of stuff thats just for me or about me,so the stuff/ppl/things that i do have like that,i treasure and become a selfish litle bitch about just ask Lindsay,she migh be able ta tell ya but i need ta talk with my therapist alone and tell her the things i've been hiding from everyone in this house,maybe i'll feel better then.


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: so...i took off the other night....at 10pm... - April 12th 2009, 04:58 PM

just remember that lindsay, us, and your therapist are all going to be there to support you, no matter what it takes.

and you know, sometimes the information that you want to keep from your parents, is actually the information that can change your life for the better if you tell them. Parents, too, make mistakes. Give them a chance (especially your mom ..if she knows how bad you're feeling... she probably would regret the way she mistreated you ) . Everything will soon get better, trust me.

give everything time.. and remember that we're always going to be here to support you.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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