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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Specialgirl Offline
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Unhappy My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 25th 2012, 07:50 AM

My boyfriend's older sister had a medical treatment on my birthday and I am not happy with her. She has to go in for these treatments every six weeks and one of her treatments took place on my birthday.She goes in for her treatments on a certain day of the week. Why did she have a treatment on my birthday. She didn't do anything for my birthday. I love my boyfriend though. Anyway, once I found out why she did not do anything for me on my birthday, I would not speak to her for two months. I am also upset now because she is scheduled to have a treatment a few days before my birthday and I think that she will not be able to celebrate my birthday with me.
   
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Re: My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 25th 2012, 08:10 AM

I'm sorry, I know it is your birthday, but it's not as though her life revolves around you. If she needs medical treatments, she needs them, regardless of what day they fall on. And while it might have been more considerate of her to do something for you or with you, you aren't her responsibility. I hope she will be able to but her taking care of herself is important.


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Re: My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 25th 2012, 08:19 AM

It's not her job to celebrate your birthday, it's her job to stay healthy.

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Re: My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 25th 2012, 06:15 PM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

When I was younger, my parents would take time off from work in order to celebrate my birthday. Now that I'm older, I understand that your birthday is just another day - you can celebrate any time you want! I know it seems important to do it on the actual "birth day" right now, but trust me, as you get older, it won't matter as much. You'll probably end up postponing any celebrations until the weekend, or you'll be flexible and see different people throughout the week, whenever you both have free time to hang out and have fun.

As the other members have said, your boyfriend's sister's health is far more important than your birthday celebration. There is absolutely no reason why you can't celebrate with her the day before or after her appointment (and you can always invite her to celebrate with you, vs. waiting for her to initiate things). Also, I'm sure she didn't WANT to schedule it on your birthday, but she probably HAD to for a number of reasons. She may not have free time any other time during the week. Her doctors may not have been available any other time during the week. Her parents/brother/friends may not have been able to drive her to the appointment any other time during the week.

With time, you'll realize the day itself isn't that important, and you won't always get special treatment just because it's your birthday. You may have to work, you may have to drop everything in order to help a friend, you may not get cake and elaborate presents. Your life IS worth celebrating, but so is everyone'e else. Rather than asking everyone to focus on you and how awesome it is that you were born, why not focus on everyone else and how awesome it is that THEY were born? You wouldn't have all these amazing people in your life if they hadn't been. Essentially, every day should be a celebration of your "birth day" and everyone else's "birth days," because the very fact that you're alive and well is wonderful in and of itself. =)






   
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Re: My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 26th 2012, 02:54 AM

I don't want to sound mean, but that sounds incredibly selfish. It's a medical treatment. It's not like she bailed cause she was getting her hair done instead. A medical treatment is pretty damn important. It's just a birthday, and she isn't obligated to have to do anything for you and the sooner you realize that the better. The world doesn't revolve around you. Yes, you are allowed to want things, but expecting someone who needs medical treatment (every 6 weeks is A LOT) makes you sound like a spoiled brat and I don't really feel like sugar coating that because it's true. A birthday is just another day. Do you have any idea how much it must suck for her to be so sick to need regular medical treatment?




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Re: My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 26th 2012, 03:21 AM

It sounds like shes pretty sick and she needs the treatment. Im sure she didnt plan to have treatment on your birthday on purpose and she probably feels bad she missed out, I bet she wanted you to have a happy birthday. Did your boyfriend stay with her during her appointment? because Im sure she felt bad about that too, I know I would. You shouldn't be mad at her because she was sick and couldn't celebrate your birthday with you, its out of her control and Im sure she wishes she didnt have to have to do it every 6 weeks 10x more than you. Someones medical treatments shouldn't have to be altered because of you.

Maybe when shes feeling better you can all celebrate together because like Robin said you can celebrate it anytime For now try and support her ( and your boyfriend because someone being sick is pretty stressful on everyone. )
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Re: My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 26th 2012, 05:18 AM

With eventuality, the treatment will and on Christmas, on Easter, on Thanks Giving, on her own birthday... I promise you she doesn't appreciate it either.

However, you sound as though you have some issues with jealousy, as if you cannot stand your boyfriend to have his attentions distracted from you by any other female, even if it is his sister. This is not a positive quality.

It is too bad that she was sick, especially if you had a nice day planned, however you cannot hold someone responsible for something they cannot control. Her choice was to die, or have a birthday celebration. You have to understand she appreciated the choice no more than you did.

It's a shame, but you aren't being clear headed about this. Holding her responsible for a serious illness isn't coolm

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Re: My boyfriends sister had a medical procedure on my birthday and I am not happy with her. - July 27th 2012, 09:04 PM

You can't always change the date of medical treatments, especially if it's a life saving one such as a chemo therapy or kidney dialysis. She can't help when her treatment is. Just celebrate your birthday with her a few days later. I'm celebrating my birthday a day early. Simply because that when it suits everyone else.



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