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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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JackSB Offline
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Exclamation My mum: controlling, self centred and pessimistic - August 17th 2012, 11:02 PM

Hi,

I'm jack, 17 years old and i'm not really one for talking about my problems at home, but i've had enough of them.

basically, all of my problems started when I began college and got a job, Starting college was great for me and I really enjoy it, it's the first time i've ever had a social life but my mum just started to be really annoyed that I no longer spent my time at home (personally, I thought that would be a good thing).

Anyway, now all we evoer do when we see eachother is clash and argue: she shouts, I agree because I respect her and don't want to shout back at her. My dad stands there, does nothing, then she shouts at him, he then follows like a sheep, shouts, says the same exact thing.

My mum smashes up my belongings; Mobile phones, laptops, computers. She's cost me around 250 Pounds to replace everything she's broken.

She swung my guitar at me the other day, thankfully missed, but now there are two giant holes in my bedroom wall, that I cant help but look at in disgust.

I really cannot cope with being in this house anymore, I cannot bear to be in this family, not now.

I'm just asking for someone to just notice that when I come home I fell drained, I come home from work, dreading an argument, Some times I just dont even want to go home from work, I ask my manager if I can stay late.

Pleae, if anyone has any ideas about what I can do, and how I can do it, It would be much appreciated

Thanks,
JackSB
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: My mum: controlling, self centred and pessimistic - August 18th 2012, 09:36 PM

Well it seems that this isn't a problem involving you; but yet involving your mom. She may be bipolar, or have some other type of problems. The only thing that YOU can do is attempt to bond with her. If after spending a few days with her and trying to please her she does not change (mood wise), then there is simply nothing else for you to do (because shes the only one that can change herself and her moods). At that point I would recommend either seeking her help (therapists, counselors, doctors, etc), or moving out of the house. Doing either one can enrage her more, however at this point you need to think about yourself and your own safety. No one should have to live in such a hostile environment and be afraid of going home at night.



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Little Lion Man
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Re: My mum: controlling, self centred and pessimistic - August 18th 2012, 11:02 PM

Chris said it pretty well. You can either help her get help or move out. As for her swinging a guitar at you, that's serious. You could have been really hurt by that. If she tries that kind of harm again, I would consider calling the police.



Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.




   
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TheQuietGirl Offline
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Re: My mum: controlling, self centred and pessimistic - August 20th 2012, 06:12 PM

I agree with calling the police if she swings a guitar at you again, or any action that is that violent. That could have been an absolutely dreadful situation, should she not have missed.

My mum is like that to an extent, and I hate hearing other people going through this. It's extremely stressful (not that I'm comparing my life to yours at all, I have no idea what you go through), and I've found that staying away when she is in a sour mood is the best. Just go to your room, and sleep or listen to music or something and stay out of the way. If she is in a good mood, use that opportunity to bond with her and get on her good side.

Just one more year, yeah? Until you can move out or go to University? Just stay safe until then. If you ever want to talk (not necessarily about this, but just about anything), then my Inbox is always open.

Lots of love and luck to you!
Abigail


   
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