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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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SessyRocks Offline
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Name: April
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Fresno, California

Posts: 71
Join Date: January 21st 2009

I am the outcast - April 11th 2009, 07:40 PM

Up until recently I was feeling pretty good about myself. I was looking forward to starting college and just having fun with my life. Then things started going badly. It started when my sister had to go through emergency surgery to have tumors in her uterus removed. The surgery went well and she's fine and everything. But, she came to stay with my mom and I while recovering. Now I am feeling irritated half of the time and like I want to cry the rest of the time. I think it might be because suddenly I feel pushed off to the side and am reminded of everything wrong with me. Let me explain. While my sister has been here my mom has started yelling at me more and "teasing me" although really she's just making fun of me. I also get pushed off to the side because while my mom and sister have so much fun talking to each other, I get ignored. Even when it's just my mom and I here, I am pretty much ignored by my mom. Last night was even worse because the two went shopping for clothes while I tagged along and my mom just had to make remarks making fun about how I dress. Just this morning my mom reminded me of how much she can't stand me. Instead of hearing "good morning", as usual I hear an insult. My mom reminded me of how badly she wants to kick me out and said if she gets a boyfriend before I finish college and get a job, she won't care, she'll kick me out. She then of course went back to her conversation with my sister. I hate being the outcast in the family.



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Strider Offline
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Name: Nat
Age: 27
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Join Date: January 19th 2009

Re: I am the outcast - April 12th 2009, 04:39 PM

Hi April,

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way and that you need to put up with the mean comments from your mom. That's really unfair of her, and would definitely be a downer on anyone's self esteem.

I think you should talk to your mom about how her comments are affecting you. More likely than not, she doesn't realize how hurtful they are. Like you said, she may just think that she's making a joke or teasing. If you tell her they make you feel this badly, I'm sure she'd make an effort to stop.

I must say, I know exactly how you feel with being pushed aside, and I'll go out and say that it just plain sucks. But do you know what can help make it better? Get talking to your mom and sister, either together or separately. Get them while they are in a good mood and just start a conversation. Get to know them a bit better. Put some time aside to hang out with one of them. Say good morning to your mom before she can complain or make mean remarks. She may get in a more cheerful mood afterwards.

Hold in there and stay strong
PM me anytime.

Nat.


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