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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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PurpleMoon Offline
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Friends - August 23rd 2012, 06:45 PM

Ok, so on Saturday Iím going out with a friend for her boyfriend with her and three other people 2 of which I donít know which worries me a little as you know I donít know them. We are also going to restraint which is also worrying me because I donít really like restaurants (They just make me nervous and that people are watching you eat and that they are really judgmental if you donít eat it all. There more then likely not.)

Anyway it makes me feel a lot uncomfortable, I want to go because its my friends birthday and I want to be there. I just feel a little awkward because they all know each other and they will obviously have there own jokes which Iím not going to know. I donít want to feel left out but I donít want to keep asking. Why? Or whatís that about? Because I donít want to be annoying.
Also any advice would be nice.

Thank you!

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Re: Friends - August 24th 2012, 08:12 PM

I just went to a friend's birthday party the other day, and I didn't know anyone, either! It was a loud club/lounge, and there were about 30 other people. What I ended up doing was finding my friend in the crowd, then struck up a conversation with her. When other friends came to greet her, she introduced them to me (and vice versa). I ended up striking a conversation with one of them for several minutes (I just asked a few basic questions - turned out we had something in common, the same high school!). Afterward, I found my friend and talked to her again.

Before going to the restaurant, you could ask your friend to introduce you to each person sitting at the table (not a broad "this is Billie," but actually saying, "Billie, this is So-and-So, I know her from [place/event/time]"). From there, you can start talking one-on-one to the people you've been introduced to. Does it feel natural? Not really... but if you show interest in people, then I can almost guarantee they will respond and show some interest in return. You won't have a magical connection right off the bat, but dinner will be much more enjoyable if you can maintain a friendly conversation. Also, you CAN talk to your friend, and you CAN jump in on a conversation. If you don't get a joke, that's okay - change the subject and talk about something interesting/exciting that they can all relate to. If you are sitting next to your friend, you can talk to her one-on-one, and when she starts talking to other friends, you can engage in those conversations.

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