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Unhappy I don't know what to do anymore. - August 27th 2012, 04:09 AM

I'm currently 16 in Florida and would like to leave home. It might just sound like the average teenager upset with not getting something, but it's not.

I currently reside with my grandmother, but my mother has custody of me. And things aren't very good in either household Over the years my mother has yelled, screamed, and even hit me. The hitting hasn't been recent, but she makes threats to sometimes. She actually kicked me out this year too, on mother's day. I went to my aunt's, and problems didn't arise until she found out I was being allowed to see my boyfriend. At which she threatened that I had to come back or she'd punch me in the mouth.
I came to my grandmother's (down the road from her) and here's where I've been since. Even before I had a boyfriend I wasn't allowed to go places so that didn't really seem new. And disregarding her "lack of trust for me" issue, people are always concerned about the way I'm being treated at home.
Things just seem to get worse. Me and her don't have a relationship, or rather I don't have one with her. Not even a few weeks ago, she made a remark about since I wanted to be grown, she was going to treat me like it. I had no problem with it since I want nothing to do with her but that was an issue the day I needed to go to the ER. I had a foreign body in my soft issue, which is doctor talk for I had basically a hook thingy stuck in my lip. She wouldn't take me at all. I had to take myself, and they only treated me because I got her to consent over the phone.
And over the past months I've been making my own appointments, because she won't. I know that if I want something done, I can't count on her. And now a new problem has arisen. I was diagnosed with major depression maybe a year or more ago though I've had it for going on 4 years. And I desperately need help. It's hard to live like this. And she doesn't care. I even had to go to the doctor for dizzy spells and lack of appetite, which they only deemed worsening depression. I haven't been seen by a therapist since I was released from the hospital after diagnosis. And she's called this year, but only once.
And I'd make the appointment but I don't have my insurance ID number and she won't release it to me, and the insurance can't because I'm under 18. I know it's not hard to get a therapist too. I was going to set up an appointment after two calls and a little waiting, but the whole ID thing got in the way. I feel like I have a better chance of being taken care of if I leave, or custody of me was given to someone else, non related. Because my family lets her do what she wants.
The only thing that's different this year is that I actually have somewhere I can go. I've grown quite close to my boyfriend's mother, and she wants to help me. She's even willing to get custody of me and go through any legal process just to make sure I'm okay. And it's not like I just want to live with my boyfriend. I realize how that would look in court. But realistically, she's the ONLY person WILLING and ABLE to take me in. She already even cares for me like her own. My friends would take me in, but I don't know their parents that well, and their parents lack the means at the moment to take me in. I just want to be able to be okay at this point. What are my options? Because I can't mentally deal with just bearing it anymore.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore. - August 27th 2012, 11:23 PM

Welcome to TeenHelp!

If your mother is refusing to meet your medical needs (both physical and mental), then it would be consider child neglect, and she could lose custody of you as a result. Where you would go after that is the question. Generally, you would stay with your biological father, and if he's not in the picture, you would stay with a biological relative of your mom's (such as your aunt or grandmother). If they can't take you in, then that might mean staying in a foster home until you turn 18. There's a chance you could live with your boyfriend's mom, but again, the problem is that you two aren't biologically related.

If your boyfriend's mom is really willing to take the necessarily legal measures, I would start talking to her now and get in touch with social services. The process could be quite lengthy - in fact, you might turn 18 before the process has ended. At least social services would be aware of your situation in the meantime, though, and if your mother failed to meet your needs in the meantime, they could step in to ensure you get the care you need.






   
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