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Emma Bliss Offline
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am I the only one that this kind of stuff happens? :/ - September 3rd 2012, 02:07 PM

I had this friend she was like a sister to me..But just now she changed..She started to spread rumors about me and lies she knows every thing that happend to me and now she started to use it against me..I liked this boy and I'm sure he likes me and we're seing each other but we're not in a relationship we talk about it every day and he just didn't asked me yet..I don't know what is he waiting for.. Or he could be just useing me..Anyway she is saying that I'm lying about him but everybody knows for us two..Now I'm scared if someone belived in things that she is saying If that happens my life is ruined I'm not like before I changed since that happend I dont have wish for do things I'm just scared and I'm scared of doing anything now.. And now I know that the closest one to me can be two faces and not as they pretend to be..And my parents just don't understand I can't even talk with them about things like this..I have an older sister and they're like "you can't go anywhere if you're sister doesn't want to go" and I cant have anything or go anywhere if she doesn't want to..I always need to lie when I wanna go on a date I just say that I need to go to school or with friends but I can only go when it's day time and they always go with me..and I failed year in school because of them..I know this is wrong but I'm ashamed of them..I know this is long and I doubt that anyone will read this but if anyone have some advice please help me ..
   
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Re: am I the only one that this kind of stuff happens? :/ - September 6th 2012, 05:34 AM

Hello, Emma. Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

There's a lot going on here, but I'm going to try and address everything. First things first - if your friend is spreading rumors about you, then it would be best to cut her out of your life. With that being said, how do you know she's the one spreading rumors about you, or that anyone is spreading rumors at all? Are your sources reliable?

Second, I'm confused about the guy you like - what exactly are you scared will happen? By "seeing each other," do you mean the two of you are sexually involved, but you're not officially "in a relationship"? If that's the case, then you have every right to be concerned about his "using you." Talk to him about your situation, and why you two aren't willing to commit to being in a relationship. As for your friend and whatever rumors are being spread - honestly, people aren't going to care as much as you think they will. So what if you're still trying to figure out the nature of your relationship with this guy? That's not uncommon - a lot of high schoolers tend to struggle with "defining the relationship." It would be another matter if your friend spread rumors about what you did sexually - but again, being sexually active isn't uncommon in most high schools (and if people ask, you can always say "it's not your business" or "you shouldn't believe everything you hear").

Third, I can see that you're frustrated about not having more privileges/freedom to go places without your family members; however, lying to them and blaming them for your academic problems is not the solution. Why not come up with a compromise? If you aren't allowed to go out on dates unless your sister wants to go to the same place, then ask your date/boyfriend to come over to your house for a dinner and movie night! This will also give your parents the chance to meet him, and if they like him enough, they might allow you to spend time alone with him, or spend time at his house under his parents' supervision. I know it's not ideal, but at 15 years old, you still have to follow your parents' rules. As for the academic problems - again, I don't know the entire story, but I can't see how your parents are to blame for that. You'd have to explain that part a little more thoroughly.





   
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Re: am I the only one that this kind of stuff happens? :/ - September 6th 2012, 04:08 PM

Thank you for your replay..

I know that she's been gossip about me because I heard it several times as she said terrible things.She has been lying about what happens between us..Like she doesn't belive in anything that I said about what happend between him and me and just play dumb because she knows that there is something between us, and she's just jealous .



Me and him we go out together to see each other he said that he likes me and I said that I like him too but there isn't happening never anything more he wanted sex several times but I refused I belive that I not ready for it we talked about the connection several times and always says that he wants to be with me and that we'll be together again but nothing happens .. And parents .Well they simply have no understanding for me, I can never talk to them, they do not understand me and they would never let me to invite a guy to my place or to go to his..They let my sister to do anything because she's older than me and she is smarter as they're saying..And me well I'm black sheep in this familiy..I failed school and they said horrible thing about me,they don't let me do anything.
My friends can do everything they want but I can't I always need to lie to them that I can't do something couse I don't want to but the truth is they don't let me..

They just don''t understand and this summer everything changed they become more annoying and they don't treath me as they should nobody understands me but the worst part is that nobody tries to understand me ..
   
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