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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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into creation x Offline
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Am I wrong to no longer want to bother? - October 2nd 2012, 11:06 AM

There's a few people in my life who I've realised in the past months make me feel unhappy more than happy and when I don't see them I feel better in myself, kind of relieved I haven't got any unnecessary drama in my life and my self esteem seems to grow when I am not around them or talking to them.

I don't think I can put into words why they make me feel like this, I suppose I just feel let down a lot by them, feel like they don't appreciate me. I feel like things have gotten so wrong they are beyond the point of being able to fix, although with one I have tried more than the others and it's just exhausting and causes me upset which I don't want any more.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? What did you do? Is it okay to just say "I've had enough" and walk away?

I don't have many other friends, but I'd rather have a tiny amount than more who make me feel sad more often than not. Is this right?

I've always been scared of making wrong decisions and this feels like a big one to possibly make, but at the same time I've just been through a really unhappy period in my life and realised a number of things. Happiness is more important than anything else to me and I feel like I'm slowly becoming happier, just now my focus has come back to these certain people/friends and I just wanted advice and thoughts on if it's reasonable and okay to just no longer bother.

I'm worried I'm coming across as self centred too, I really don't think I am, I'd love to help friends out with things they struggle with and use my strengths to help them with things like job applications for example. Maybe these people just have different views on life to me now and we've grown apart...

Sorry for going on!
   
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Re: Am I wrong to no longer want to bother? - October 2nd 2012, 12:20 PM

No your not wrong to have enough. Enough is enough and no one can pass that line again. Its ok for you to walk away from people like that I have done it many times. I don't want to be hurt because of someone else




ďIíve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. Iíve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, Iíve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. Iíve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.Ē
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Re: Am I wrong to no longer want to bother? - October 3rd 2012, 01:38 AM

I have walked away from many friendships over the past year because, to be frank, we were just "Facebook friends." They didn't seem to be emotionally invested in me, and that hurt. I decided I'd rather have a small number of friends who actually bothered to check in every couple of months (we all lead busy lives) than a large number of friends who didn't care unless they saw/heard certain key words.

With that being said, please don't make the same mistake I did with several of those friends. Don't walk away before you've talked to them about how you're feeling. Sometimes, people get caught up in other things and neglect their friendships. A simple conversation could bring you a great deal of comfort and completely turn the tide. If you haven't been reaching out to them because they haven't been reaching out to you, then change that! See if they reciprocate. If they don't, then yes, I'd say walking away isn't a bad idea. If they get back to you (and reveal they're very busy but still care about you), then reconsider your decision to walk away.






   
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