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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Spikey Offline
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Unhappy I Don't Know!!! - October 8th 2012, 09:44 PM

Best friends = D and N
Boyfriend = J

So, in October half term (last year) I was at my little sister's gymnastics practice when my friend, D, said her and N saw my boyfriend (who, back then, was 'friend'), J, riding up and down an elevator in the high street near where I live. I said that he must have a twin or something, because he's in two places at once. I said this because he told me he was at home watching tv, so I was confused by this and just brushed it off.

But, 3 weeks ago, D told me that she didn't like how I had made a joke out of it when she told me and didn't like the fact that my boyfriend had called her a liar. But she said that she wasn't bothered with who I believed. And I didnt believe anyone because he wasn't doing anything life threatening or something. But I don't think she's gotten over it.

My boyfriend sees it as an amusing story and always makes a joke out of it when I bring it up. But: my boyfriend's older brother admitted he was doing this with his friends on that day, my boyfriend's parents said he was at home and D and N hadn't seen J for nearly 2 years - even though N and J went to the same primary school, but people do change in appearances - and I had seen J a week or so ago so knew exactly what he looked like. And N knew J's older brother too.

So, my question is, what was I supposed to say to my friends when they told me this? Clearly, D seems offended by my reaction. And, how can I fix this? D doesn't want to talk to J and gets angry whenever I bring up the whole saw-him-on-an-escalator thing. And D said that J called her a liar, but he just said that he was at home, not on an escalator in the high street, so not outright calling her a liar, but just contradicting her statement.

I dont know what to do. Me dating him is starting to put a strain on my and D's friendship.

Please help!

And she turns up the music, to drown out her life.

22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
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PSY Offline
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Re: I Don't Know!!! - October 9th 2012, 11:06 PM

What I don't understand is how so many different people can tell so many different stories! He was there, he wasn't there, he was there, he wasn't there! Frankly, I think I simply wouldn't bring up the story with your friends from now on... but if it DOES come up, you could tell your friends how confusing it is for you to hear so many conflicting stories, and how you've decided it's not worth racking your brain over anymore. It may also be worth mentioning (again, ONLY if the issue is brought up by your friends) that you feel bad about the conflict between your friends and boyfriend, but ultimately, you care about both parties and want to stay on good terms with both. THEY certainly don't have to stay on good terms with each other, but express your hope that THEIR animosity won't affect YOUR relationships with your friends.

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