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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Asteria Polemoi Offline
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My Friend's Mom and Cancer - October 19th 2012, 09:36 PM

In short, my best friend's mom doesn't have a long time to live.

She told me a little over a year ago about her mom. Her mother has been sick for years with numerous blood diseases and numerous forms of cancer. A few years ago she was beautiful and now she looks like a skeleton because she's so skinny. She has no teeth or hair anymore.

Last spring my friend was gone a lot because her mom was in the hospital, almost dead. When she finally regained her strength, the doctor told them that she only had about two years or less to live.

So now I'm getting scared. My friend told me not to feel bad for her, but when her mom dies I don't know what to do. I've had two friends before whose moms died but that was in elementary school. I don't know how to react when it happens. I'm not an affectionate person and feel awkward comforting someone, so how am I suppose to react to her, who always acts so strong and doesn't want any sympathy, especially when her mom dies of many, many diseases?

Any advice would be very appreciated because I'm scared of what's going to happen.


"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."

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Re: My Friend's Mom and Cancer - October 19th 2012, 10:10 PM

It's horrible knowing your friend is going through something tough. Really your friend may just well need a shoulder to cry on, someone to say 'I'm here, I'm listening' your not meant to have all the answers or make it 100% ok. Just let her know that you'll will be there through everything. As chances are she may be worried that you may leave when you she needs you most. Once that worry is gone she will slowly open up to you and you can help her (:


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Chris Offline
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Re: My Friend's Mom and Cancer - October 20th 2012, 01:24 AM

In all honesty there isn't much you can do but comfort her, and atleast show her that you are there if she needs to talk. If you are physically there for her (get her out of the house after the death and spend time with her, etc), she will know, even without you saying it that you are there for her, and simple things like that mean alot to a person. I'm not saying start crying and smother her in hugs, I'm saying be there physically, and emotionally for her: Thats all a friend can wish for.


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Chris


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Re: My Friend's Mom and Cancer - October 21st 2012, 07:01 AM

Hey there,

I think that what you should do is let her know that you do care about her and that you will be there for her if she needs to talk to someone. I know that you are not big on comforting, but I know that you care about her and wouldn't leave her hanging. Try spending some time with her and improving her mood, and just do things for her to show that you do care about her and are not alone. That is the best thing that you can do for her, and it is what she will certainly need.


   
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Re: My Friend's Mom and Cancer - October 22nd 2012, 05:16 PM

Hello Asteria Polemoi,

This is a very sad story about your best friend's mum. I wish her mum was well and have a chance to live. Lifes unfair I hate it but we are put on this earth. I am with the others on this one. She needs you when her mum dies she needs someone who is always standing by her side. Be there for her. It's really sad that her mum has bad luck.
   
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