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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
DrummerBoy Offline
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This makes me angry. - October 29th 2012, 09:20 PM

So I come inside after practicing my drums and everyones eating.

I go and get some food and I notice my mom already made my plate.
So I pick it up and go to sit down and she says "Thanks" implying that I should have said that, so I go "Oh yeah, Thanks." And I ment it, but she thinks I didnt mean it because I said it quietly.

I was just frustrated because I couldnt get my drums tuned very well.

So her and my dad start saying "No, You didnt mean that, your just being ungrateful" and when I would try to explain it to them they would just cut me off.

Then once that passed by after I was done eating My dad was trying to get my little sister to eat some food.

She didnt want to and kept saying No, (Shes 5 also) and my dad yells "EAT IT" and she eats it.

Then he gets up and walks for a second and then says "WHat a bunch of ungrateful kids"

I was pissed at this point and I just waited a second to see if that was the end, but then he goes "If they are ungrateful, just letm starve"

I got mad, I dumped my stuff in the sink, and I slammed my door to my room.

My middle sister did nothing, and by what my dad said he was blaming her too, thats what really bugged me.

Also, I ammuch nicer to my parents than most kids. Most kids get there food made everyday and plates all set, and they still yell and bitch at there parents.

So if my dad wants to think that im ungrateful, for everything they've done for me, then whats the point of trying to be thankful.
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Re: This makes me angry. - October 29th 2012, 10:49 PM

I don't know your family as well as you do (obviously), but in situations like these, many factors can come into play. For example, when you didn't immediately say "thank you" (and quietly said it afterward), it wasn't because you were ungrateful or insincere - it was because you had something else on your mind. The same could be said for your parents. Maybe they weren't saying all those things because they dislike you and your siblings - maybe they were stressed about work, finances, personal issues between the two of them, etc. That's something you might want to think about. Instead of trying to defend yourself (which isn't a bad thing, as long as you're calm/respectful), ask them what's wrong and how you can help improve the situation. For example, if they're tired after work, and see cooking as another burden, AND think you children are ungrateful, you could offer to cook one meal every week. That will show you ARE grateful for what they do, AND you're willing to make life easier for them. It's hard to mistake a gesture like that.

Unfortunately, some parents begin to assume your innocent actions are malicious in some way, simply because you are a teenager. Many people have this idea that teenagers are troublesome and intentionally cause trouble for their parents. It's not true for many teenagers, of course, but if your parents are being influenced by that idea, then no matter how nice you are, they will misinterpret some of your actions as malicious (or at least problematic, like being ungrateful). There isn't much you can do about that, other than what I suggested above (showing an interest in their happiness and offering to help in various ways).

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Re: This makes me angry. - October 29th 2012, 10:52 PM

Honestly? There's been a lot of little augments like this in my house over the past several years. I don't think your parents mean it. Maybe they've had a long day or just aren't feeling great and they came home to prepare tea and felt like none of you were thankful (I'm not saying you aren't!) and it just got to them. Your parents shouldn't have said what they did but it happens. We all get stressed or annoyed and when we do, sometimes we don't quite manage to remain calm enough and we come out with these things.

If it carries on try talk to them about it but I'm sure it will just blow over. And if you get into a situation like that, remember to try and stay calm. Even walk away if you're feeling very angry to stop the argument from becoming worse.

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Re: This makes me angry. - October 31st 2012, 03:55 AM

People can say hurtful things they don't truly intend or believe when they're angry and stressed. When you didn't sufficiently vocalize "thank you", it added yet another stressor. I wouldn't be concerned with it. Running upstairs and slamming your door only adds fuel to the fire because it can easily be viewed that you were practicing your drumming skills (which may have already annoyed your father), didn't say thank you even after prompted, then immediately abandon your family to your room.

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