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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Not a n00b
misunderstoodgirl's Avatar
Name: Carly Jessica
Gender: Female
Location: LA

Posts: 59
Join Date: June 30th 2009

invisible to my family & friends - November 6th 2012, 01:41 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

IS REALLY UPSET!!!!!! I canít do anything right everything thing I say gets me in trouble. I already have enough pressure I donít need more. I am feeling so damn invisible and itís really starting to affect me. I donít know how much more I can take it!!!!!! Just to let everyone know I don't post things to get attention that's the last thing I am doing!! It's just that it feels like I have no one I can really open up too right now besides my councilor who I only see every three weeks. And it's too long of a period and I try and tell my mom this but she just won't listen So posting on Facebook and journaling and going online is really the only way I can get my feeling out. I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK I AM DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION BUT I AM HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING PEOPLE I REALLY TRUST AND I DON'T CARE IF U DO and my moods have been going from one extreme to the other and it feels like I am being stretch in every which way. I am so sorry if I have hurt anyone OR NOT RESPOND. It's just I have been going through a rocky patch or have come across in a bad way. My mom is driving me up a wall. It feels like my mom keeps picking on me and always putting me now. its causing a lot of prolbems for everyone i tried to tell her and she just told me i was being a drama queen and to grow up. it feels like my options dont matter she purpusely exclude me from a question. its causing me to have suicidal dreams and thoughts plus i have alot urges to self harm that i have to fight every day i dont wanna come home from school. school right now is my safe haven and home is a hell hole. i have consider running away alot. i just dont know what to do and i feel all alone and dosent care
:' (

Last edited by misunderstoodgirl; November 6th 2012 at 02:10 AM. Reason: forgot something
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Chris Offline
Outside, huh?
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Name: Chris
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Location: Illinios

Posts: 4,247
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: November 28th 2011

Re: invisible to my family & friends - November 6th 2012, 09:26 PM

I can see that everything is falling down around you and you are close to rock bottom. Let me just assure you that things will get better, but only if you truly believe that they will. Sure, right now alot is going on, and things are tough. But they don't/wont stay like this forever. You have to find ways to successfully/safely get these feelings out. I truly recommend journaling. When I was in 8th grade, I was going through such a tough time. I struggled with so much and I just couldn't take it. I found that journaling helped, and I wrote random things down on paper every single day, Even if I didn't want to write, I would force myself too. It made me feel alot better. Most of what I was writing didn't even make sense, but it didn't have too because most of our emotions/feelings don't make sense. I found it most relaxing to journal right before bed, so that I was able to emotionally/mentally clear all those thoughts out of my head and put them on paper. It really helped alot.

So journal. A second thing you can do is write a list of things that are negatively effecting your life right now (ex; Friends, mom, school, etc). Then put them on a list from highest to lowest (ex: Mom = highest problem in my life, school = lowest problem). Then once you put the list together, pick the top thing that is effecting your life and right down all the things you can do to make it better or to change it into something positive (instead of negative). For example, if mom is on top of your list, maybe you can start cleaning the house once a week, or buying her something once in awhile. Maybe simple things like that will change her mood: thus effecting everyones moods in the house which may make you feel more comfortable at home instead of you feeling like its a bad place to be or a 'hell hole'.

Doing things like this allows you to really focus on whats going on in your life, and also brings attention to the things you can do to change them.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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