TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
marissa1223 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
marissa1223's Avatar
 
Name: Marissa
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Posts: 3
Join Date: April 15th 2009

Ex-Besties for a year now - April 16th 2009, 02:09 AM

I've read quite a few of these threads, and there are a lot of similar situations to mine, but none quite fit perfectly. So I'll tell my own story... possibly pose a new question, too. Trust me, it's a VERY long story (I have a tendency to drag things out) and you can skip to the end if you like. But if you're like me, you like to read the whole thing.

SO...
Joann and I were best friends for about a year. I'd never ever had a friend like her, and I knew she felt the same about me. Of course we had our ups and downs, but the whole time she was my friend was the best part of my life. I felt great - I finally learned how to be happy by my own choice; I felt friendly; appreciated; entertained; LOVED above all else. She was my everything, my best friend. She even chose me over the girl she's known practically forever (whom I still talk to quite frequently).

Sure, we had a couple of fights, but we had a really big one last April - now an entire year ago. We didn't speak for about 2-3 weeks, but I asked her to come back and we had a week of peace. The next week, though, we were at a carnival and she kept ditching me for her other friend. Not having spoken to her for a long time, I felt neglected and confronted her about it. She sort of blew up. Well, she told me I shouldn't have brought it up - it was "inconvenient" for her, she didn't "want to think about it." I gave her some space, but later she said it would take months for us to be friends again.

I think she grew to hate me, as she never came up to me after that. I don't know exactly what I did to tick her off (since all of this started before the day of the carnival) and she never told me. Rumor has it she doesn't know why she was mad, either. Anyway, I missed her terribly, and I tried to talk to her and reason with her to no avail. She had never treated me badly, but now I felt hurt. I said goodbye to her the last day of school. It was like hugging a rock. I invited her to my birthday. No answer from her. I put in all this effort to rebuild our friendship, but she didn't want anything to do with it, it seemed. Then this year started, months have passed, and I can tell there's a lot less tension between us - for example, we can sit next to each other at the lunch table, even though we don't talk.

Here's the important part: Over the past month or two I've been torn between missing her, reminiscing about the good times versus hating not necessarily her, but what she did to me, all the pain she put me through. Sometimes I think I feel better about it when I'm angry at her, since it doesn't hurt as much as missing her. But I don't want to hate her.

More than anything, I've wanted to be friends again, though I think I've sort of moved on (I know she has). I've made new friends, doubtless, but they're nothing compared to her. At this point, we're both different people from who we used to be.

So is it worth talking to her again? Or should I just keep living the way I have been? Normally I'm quite happy, but every now and then this tears me apart. I'm not sure if it would be too awkward if I struck up a conversation, and a few of my friends are telling me to give up, that I care about her too much. Perhaps I do. I just loved her so much.

Yeah. Ranting makes me feel better of course, and today has been a good day. Not a "Let's Hate Joann" day. So now you know the story of my life, haha. Sorry it was so long.

Thanks in advance for any advice!
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Anomaly Offline
Penguins love you
I can't get enough
*********
 
Anomaly's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 2,449
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Ex-Besties for a year now - April 16th 2009, 02:25 AM

Hey, first off welcome to teenhelp!! Always good to see new faces.

Ive had this situation with some of my friends and it really does suck. One of my friends I confronted and we grew back togehter with the other friend we didnt. Sometimes friendships just fade, people are constantly changing so differnces come up. Most of the tme theres not much we can do about it.

I'd say that you've tried to stay friends with her and it dosent seem to be working but just because your not friends dosent mean you cant care about her. I care about lots of people and im diffently not friends with all of them. And plus you said you've made new friends just try moving on with your life and see what happens.


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
Tash-la
I've been here a while
********
 
Strider's Avatar
 
Name: Nat
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: A broken glass picture

Posts: 1,448
Join Date: January 19th 2009

Re: Ex-Besties for a year now - April 16th 2009, 10:26 PM

Hi Marissa,
It's good to see you here. I'm glad you want to tell your own story too. And the past information does help, so don't worry about long posts

I know you've been missing your old friend lately, but I think it would be a good idea to move on. You've done a lot for her, and what she did by ditching you and getting mad wasn't fair. Friends fall out sometimes, and I think it would be better to get to know your new friends better and spend more time with them to strengthen those friendships. You deserve to have friends that appreciate you.

Nat.


http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/40/signaturep.png
The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
best friend, exbesties, year

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.