I hate him! And I almost hate her for putting up with it!

[lolface]

My step-dad is so childish! He acts like a spoilt child, it's so annoying. Him and mum were arguing a minute ago (mum was pissed off cos he didn't bother to ask if i wanted any lunch..) and he threw the tv remote at her and now her mouth is bleeding. I hate him, but I also resent mum for putting up with it. No one actually knows why she's still with him, probably including her. I just hate the way he acts when he gets pissed off, how he treats us like crap. And he starts arguments about the smallest things, he came in a few minutes ago and shouted at me for having the radiator on because "it's the middle of summer". Uh, it's clearly not. I just don't understand why mum won't leave him, she would be applauded for doing it by everyone we know, for hell's sake! I think he has something wrong with him mentally, he's so paranoid about almost everything, and he always forgets things we've said or twists them round, even things he's said. He seems to think the world revolves around him. And the way he's fine one minute, he can be really nice when he wants to be, but then he's shouting abuse at us the next. He hits me sometimes, mostly across the head, but mum just says "don't tell anyone, we don't want any trouble". I can't stand it! And when I was a bit younger, he would "touch" me, and she knows about that too but doesn't do anything. I really hate it all, I could go and live with my dad who lives in the next town, but mum says she'll be heartbroken if I do, because according to her I'm the only thing that keeps her sane living with him. But she's so overprotective, and I think some of the things he does are rubbing off on her. He's incredibly controlling with both of us, and she's started being like it with me. I'm scared she's gonna end up like him in the end. I can't put up with living with them when they're like this, but there's nothing I can do. And I know other people have it so much worse than me, so I feel selfish for complaining

[Imaginary]

Hello there. I'm sorry that he does that/did that. No real adult would.

I can't offer too much advice, because I've never been in your situation, but perhaps leaving for a while would be the best course of action. If you feel safe there, maybe move to your dad's or a friends, and keep in touch with your mom.

If it gets serious (again, I don't know what "serious" is, but I trust your judgement), maybe you could adivise your mother to contact a women's shelter.

Good luck, I hope this helped a little bit. Stay strong.

[Strider]

Hey Zoë,

I know it may be difficult for your mom, but what you really need to do is get someone involved. What your step-dad is doing and has done is abuse and should not have to be tolerated. You deserve to live somewhere comfortable and not have to put up with this guy. What he's doing is absolutely ridiculous! Not to mention illegal.

It will be better for both you and your mom in the end if you contact the police about this. You really need to get this sorted out, for your safety and your mother's. Other people obviously are realizing the problems as well and could vouch for you if your mom wont. If you are feeling uncomfortable about contacting the authorities on your own, try going to you school counselors and talking to them about it. They will be able to get you in contact with the police.

Stay strong and PM me anytime.

Nat.

[liquidchill]

Hey, I'm so sorry this has been going on, first of all. They're right, this should not be tolerated and your mom should not be putting up with it and neither should you. Does your dad know about this? Maybe there is an adult you could talk to just to let it out and REALLY talk to your mom. Tell her tht this can not keep going on and you can't stand to live in a toxic environment like this. Don't wait for things to get worse, take action now before they do. Of course, I hope they don't, but if you want something done, I suggest you take ur mom for coffee or lunch or somthing. Sit her down and just let everything pour out, similar to what you posted. Make it differnt to what she already knows.
Best of luck,
Flannery.