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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Detritus Offline
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I just can't make a good impression.. - April 16th 2009, 05:57 PM

Hey guys, I'm not sure if anyone knows but i've been homeschooled my whole life, and only in the last couple years have I really went out of my way to try to be sociable(but it's REALLY hard for me).

But, it seems that when I meet people, I don't usually leave a good impression, I try to be friendly and engaging and all but I can't help but be quiet the first time around, and this is really putting a hampering on the whole.. me having friends thing.

Like for instance, I went to hang out with these people for the first time with one of my best friends(He's homeschooled too mind you), and it was obvious that he made a great impression. Me... not so much.

I've seen these same folks I met with talking with him all the time on myspace, facebook etc, and when I try to initiate conversation, nobody really wants to talk to me. Hell, one of them even asked him to go to Prom with them, and he's only 15..

I'm honestly trying my hardest to be a friendly person(and before anyone asks, this IS me, i'm not trying to be someone that i'm not) but it doesn't seem like anyone really likes me very much.

Why is this? :/
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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 16th 2009, 07:33 PM

I have a lot of home-schooled friends. most of them are perfectly normal, which i think is because they get together with other home-schoolers at things like bowling leagues and ball-room dancing classes. this helps them a lot because they can be with people who understand where they are coming from and since they aren't just sitting having coffee, they don't have to talk constantly, they chat for a bit, then get up and bowl!
good luck!



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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 16th 2009, 08:22 PM

Don't put too much importance on having been homeschooled; a lot of people go to public school from kindergarten to graduation and still don't have wonderful social skills. Mine are improving slowly, but even a year ago I was always the quietest one in the room. I still find it hard to be sociable; I'm simply just not a people person. People are big and loud and unpredictable and confusing and scary; I much prefer my books and music and equations, with just a few good friends who know me well enough to get past the awkwardness. Really, I don't think there's any magical advice to make you better at meeting and conversing with people. All you can do is keep putting yourself out there and keep practising and getting slowly better.


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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 16th 2009, 11:58 PM

Well the reason I'm putting so much emphasis on Homeschooling is because that played a MAJOR part in it, seeing as I didn't learn the social skills I was supposed to learn throughout my childhood.

Because it takes me some time to warm up to people, and it's making all the difference.. :/
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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 17th 2009, 01:01 AM

That's hard, I think most people can relate in one way or another.

Keep on trying though and don't compare yourself to your friend. Find people that want to talk to you, if they don't then don't waste your time.
   
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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 17th 2009, 01:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
That's hard, I think most people can relate in one way or another.

Keep on trying though and don't compare yourself to your friend. Find people that want to talk to you, if they don't then don't waste your time.
Well, I don't mean to compare myself to my friend or anything, but it's just really disappointing is all. I never hardly get any chances to meet new people, and when one rolls along, this kind of thing happens.
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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 17th 2009, 02:42 AM

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Originally Posted by Detritus View Post
Well, I don't mean to compare myself to my friend or anything, but it's just really disappointing is all. I never hardly get any chances to meet new people, and when one rolls along, this kind of thing happens.
Do you have your license?
   
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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 17th 2009, 03:11 AM

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Do you have your license?
Not at the moment, no.
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Re: I just can't make a good impression.. - April 18th 2009, 05:20 PM

Hey Jordan,

I think the reason you're comparing yourself to your friend and worried about impressions is because you are meeting new people in groups. Why not go without your friend to meet new people? He doesn't always have to be there. That way you wont need to feel worried about what your friend says or how he acts when you're around new people.

Also, have you tried joining any clubs or teams in your area? I find that those are ways to make some friends and get to know people. Or if you're interested in any kind of classes, that also could be a good idea. That way you could see people periodically and you can get a chance to grow used to talking with them.

You don't need to compare yourself to your friend. If you're quiet the first time you meet people, that's fine. A lot of people are shy. Just do your best to ask them questions and get them talking, and then you wont need to worry about it.

Nat.


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