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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Anduriel Offline
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Seeing friends - April 18th 2009, 06:20 AM

I have two friends and I have seen neither of them face to face in a year. It's not that we live far away or anything, it's just I'm afraid to ask them to do anything. I always fear for the friendship when wanting to ask them to do something. What can I do to overcome this fear. I also consider the possibility that they don't actually like me (I always have that on standby).
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Re: Seeing friends - April 18th 2009, 02:29 PM

Heya Vin!

You know, you're never going to know if your friends want to hang out or not unless you ask them, so that's what I suggest that you do. If they want to hang out, great, you've got yourself a day or a night away from being home on the computer [or something similar]. If not, no harm done. [: The worst thing they can do is say no. And, if they do, why don't you look into joining some sort of school sponsored activity next year and trying to meet yourself some new friends! It's a lot easier to make friends in an environment in which you're comfortable, you know? Might not be a bad idea. Good luck!



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Re: Seeing friends - April 18th 2009, 03:40 PM

Hey Vin.
I can relate to the situation you're in right now with your friends, a bit. I know that it's tough sometimes to simply call someone up and ask them to go out and do something with you. But once you finally have the courage to ask them to do something, you always have a great time with them when you do, am I right? I think you should remind yourself that the worst that can happen is that they disagree to go out with you. But if I had to guess, I would assume that they miss talking to you just as much as you probably miss seeing them. If they didn't like you, they wouldn't be your friends! Try not to worry yourself so much, what's the worst that can happen? Best of luck!





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Re: Seeing friends - April 18th 2009, 05:40 PM

Hi Vin,

You're never going to know how your friends feel if you don't talk to them or hang out with them. Just send them an email, give them a phone call, or just drop by and see how they are doing. I'm sure they'd like to hear from you again.

I know you're worried about talking to them, but really there's no sense in pushing this later. Just pick up the phone and see if they want to hang out some time. What you're thinking right now about them probably isn't true, so there's no need to be scared of phoning them. I'll bet they'd even be relieved to hear from you.

You never know, you're friends may be feeling the same way you are!

Nat.


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Anduriel Offline
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Re: Seeing friends - April 18th 2009, 06:38 PM

I'm afraid to even call. I know there would be too many awkward silences. About all I can do is send a text/instant message because I have a little time to think about what to say.
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Re: Seeing friends - April 18th 2009, 06:49 PM

If they don't live too far away, why not just drop by and see how they're doing? Then you wont need to deal with the phone and silences at all. Texting is alright, but it's not as good as in person.


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Re: Seeing friends - April 18th 2009, 09:56 PM

I agree with Nat.

Or, why not slip the invite into one of your texting or instant message conversations? Seeing as I'm terrified of the phone, I prefer to do most of my planning through e-mail. You still avoid the phone, you avoid surprising anybody, and you still put the offer out there of meeting up and hanging out.

xo Claire






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Anduriel Offline
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Re: Seeing friends - April 19th 2009, 12:19 AM

Just got shot down by one of my friends. I knew it would happen. Now the only way I can spend time with him is to play WoW with him. Oh well, just figures I guess.
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Re: Seeing friends - April 19th 2009, 01:03 AM

Call them up, ask in a respectable manner. If they say yes, cool. If they so no oh well what are they going to do. Just call it shouldn't be a big deal.
   
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Re: Seeing friends - April 19th 2009, 03:31 AM

Well what were his reasons?

xo Claire




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Re: Seeing friends - April 19th 2009, 05:26 AM

With all respect, there must be something wrong if you have only two friends at the age of 17.
   
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Re: Seeing friends - April 19th 2009, 06:54 PM

^Sometimes a small group is better There's nothing wrong with having a few friends.

I'm wondering what you mean by saying they shot you down? Were they just not able to hang out when you suggested? Or did they not want to hang out at all? If it was a timing issue, maybe you could reschedule?

I think you should still phone up your other friend and see if they want to hang out. I still think it would be worth a try. Don't judge the other one by what the first friend said.

If you're looking to be more sociable, are there any clubs or anything close by that you could join? Community centers usually host a bunch of stuff, so if they have a catalogue at one near you, it might be a good idea to give it a read.


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