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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Tonight Offline
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Dad Tryng to be Helpful,but court - April 18th 2009, 05:50 PM

My mom is taking my dad to court over child support and some other stuff (long story but I have a sleep disorder and am still considered a dependant,but my mom has to go to court in order to get child support continued).When my mom and her lawyer tried to serve him with court papers he and his wife threw a huge tempertantrum.

The next day he tried to call me but since I moved and don't have a phone yet he left a message with my grandma saying that he had some stuff for the apartment for me.

I don't know wether accepting gifts from him might screw up the court case.I don't even know why he's giving me stuff,like him and i have a pretty rough relationship,that I've been trying to fix.But I've only seen him once or twice since he stopped contact with me 4 years ago.

I tried to ask my mom what I should do but she refuses to give me her oppion and get involved.Which I completely understand,she wants me to make my own choice and not be influenced by her bias against my dad.

I'm just really worried about screwing up the court case for my mom and I'm worried about my dad's motives.He's tried to use me before to get information out of me.

I know I should probably wait for the court case to be over but that's not till the end of May and my mom has barely enough money to get by,never mind furnishing the apartment.


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Re: Dad Tryng to be Helpful,but court - April 18th 2009, 06:06 PM

I'm not positive about this, but giving gifts and actually paying child support are completely different things when it comes to a court case. I don't think it will really affect it, but if you want to be on the safe side, talk to your mom's lawyer about it or wait until after the court case before accepting anything your dad gives you. Like you said, he has tried to use you before for information, this might be a way of getting out of paying.

If you are suspicious about the gifts, I really suggest you talk to your mom's lawyer and get more information. Get yourself educated in the situation. You can never be too safe about this stuff.

All the best,
Nat.


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Re: Dad Tryng to be Helpful,but court - April 18th 2009, 09:51 PM

I'm not sure how big of an impact the gifts will have on your case if he's doing what I suspect he is doing, but I'm not sure it'll have too much of an impact. I remember when my parents were fighting for custody, and my father became the typical "Disneyland dad." Every outing we had was filled with trips to amusement and water slide parks, arcades, bowling, good food and gifts etc. But when it came down to it, the court paid less attention to this ideal father than they did the evidence my sister, mother and I had to show for the fact that my dad... wasn't exactly Disneyland (let's face it, he's not the first to have tried to manipulate the court). I also remember my father doing something like this when my mother was fighting for a child support he refused to pay. He ended up losing that one too, though I can't remember the argument he tried to use.

It also depends entirely on your situation, so like Nat said, I would consider talking to your mother's lawyer about it or at least telling your mother you want the legal opinion so that you can make an educated decision.

Best of luck.

xo Claire







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