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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Pour the Teapot Offline
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Unhappy the horrors of my mother - April 19th 2009, 09:25 PM

I am SO absolutely sick of my mother. she is just a horrible mother and a bad person. i am so sick of her crap. she is just too bad for words. she is unreasonable, and rude, and ruins everything. she never listens to me, but she says i don't offer her any help on how to make our relationship better. and now she's got me on pills for something i don't have, she just totally jumped the gun on the pills. and she is making me go to therapy with her, and take this stupid DBT class and it's MISERABLE. she says i've done nothing to improve our relationship, but several times i've already told her what she can do to make things better. I'm sick of trying to make things better between us. all the crying and the fighting and the being grounded just makes me exhausted. and now i'm starting to have nervous breakdowns more and more frequently. what can i do??!! there's absolutely nothing i can do to make her better! i'm not going to change for her anymore!!!
   
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Re: the horrors of my mother - April 19th 2009, 09:56 PM

Hey there. (:

I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you. I'm sorry you have to deal with it but just take a deep breath, stay calm and be rational.

Try to remember, she's not enjoying this either. It's just as much stress for her- but I know that doesn't excuse her behavior. She's the adult here. But I guess there's not much you can do about the past.

Have you two had a proper, calm chat? Don't talk to her when you're angry, nothing's going to sink in. Perhaps you could even write a letter to her, mail it to her, and she can read it and see how much this is actually affecting you. Because a lot of the time, people can be blind to the consequences of their actions and just need a push in the right direction.

What has she got you on pills for? I can't see how you could be on pills for something you don't have. Have you been diagnosed with something?

Are the DBT classes helping you at all? Perhaps you could just give them a chance and try be open to them.

Communication is the key. Calm communication. It's going to take a lot of work from both of you, but things can be sorted out. She's your mother, she loves you, and you love her. Just try hold on to that.

Good luck and PM me if you ever need anything.
   
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