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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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bunnyrabbitt Offline
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Name: Michelle
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PLEASE HELP MAJOR FAMILY ISSUES!! - May 25th 2013, 01:26 AM

So I was adopted when I was twelve, but I've been with the same family since I was eight. i'm now 16. My adoptive parents got divorced RIGHT after I was adopted. Then a little over a year ago, my mom got remarried. (I don't really talk to my dad anymore, since I live with my mom and he seems to have no interest in my or my sisters' lives anymore.)

The guy that my mom married is great, and he accepts us as his own kids, but they rushed into things, like they knew each other for a little over a month before marrying.

As expected, they didn't know everything about each other, and they are now finding out things that would have before prevented them from marrying in the first place.

My mom is crazy..... When he's out for too long, or goes to the store without texting her, she goes ape shit.

So, I'm sure that by now, you have some idea of how often they fight. And this isn't ANYTHING like normal husband/wife fighting, I've seen plenty of that, and this is far worse.

And now, since we're not young anymore, my mom feels it's okay to involve my two sisters and I in everything they fight about. I don't really want to get into detail about that.... But if we try to tell her that she's wrong, she accuses us of "siding" with him and thinks that we've betrayed her or something. I have a lot going on right now, I'm still focused on school, and this year has been hard for me, because of all the constant fighting and other things. I don't want to be involved in this crap anymore. If there was any way for me to become emancipated, I would, without a doubt.

This is like an everyday thing, most recently (today) she dropped his stuff off at the police station, because he went to the bar with his cousin last night and didn't come home all day today. I know that this is wrong, but I still think that she takes things to extremes. And I'm sure that the reason why he leaves and stays gone for so long is because he knows that it's gonna be crazy once he gets home, if I had the option, I'd do the same.

Honestly, I don't even know what advice to ask for, I just wanted to write this, and maybe someone will actually read this...

So thanks if you did read this.


-Michelle


Keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing, and there's so much to smile about. -Marilyn Monroe
   
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Re: PLEASE HELP MAJOR FAMILY ISSUES!! - May 25th 2013, 01:38 AM

I'm sorry your going through this
I'm not sure what advice to give you either maybe someone will come along who can help but I thought you might wanna know that someone did read your story and cares about whether you feel better and is here if you wanna talk.

Feel free to PM/VM me anytime if you wanna talk


Every heartbreak we go through makes us the perfect person for our soulmates. Shaping us into what they've always been looking for.

Need to talk, PM me.

To people(like me) who think asking for help annoys people I say:
It would bother me if you DIDN'T ask for help.
   
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Re: PLEASE HELP MAJOR FAMILY ISSUES!! - May 25th 2013, 03:04 AM

My advice would be to just state that you don't want to take part in arguments because you don't want to pick either side. Don't try to tell that she's wrong or anything, because you stated that that makes her mad. Just try to stay out of everything the best you can. Hang in there.



Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.




   
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Re: PLEASE HELP MAJOR FAMILY ISSUES!! - May 25th 2013, 06:05 PM

My parents separated and divorced several years ago, and they did something similar. It's a very common thing for parents to do, unfortunately... they want to be validated, so they put their children in the middle and ask them to choose sides. They may not say it outright, and they may not intend for their children to be caught in the crossfire, but it happens anyway and can be incredibly stressful for the children. I agree with the previous poster: if your parents aren't open to marriage/family therapy or some kind of mediation (ex. a neutral party tells each parent what they need to do differently), then your best bet is to say, "I'm not getting involved." If you don't say it outright, your mom may continue to put you in this position, so let her know you don't want to get involved, and that while you do love her, you don't want to be dragged into the conflict between herself and her husband.






   
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Re: PLEASE HELP MAJOR FAMILY ISSUES!! - May 27th 2013, 04:43 AM

Try to make your mom a breakfast in bed or somthing when he's not there and when she Finnishes ask her realy sweetly if you can't sit down and talk to her go from sweet to sirious but still staying sweet at the same time and just say mom I dont want to make you upset or anything but this is how I feel .............
Hope this helps be close to her while you have her
   
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Re: PLEASE HELP MAJOR FAMILY ISSUES!! - May 29th 2013, 03:20 AM

Thank you guys so much, this helps a lot. Sadly, things have gotten even more complicated since then :/ but I feel much better being able to write (type) about my problems


-Michelle


Keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing, and there's so much to smile about. -Marilyn Monroe
   
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