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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Nitro Offline
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Questioning my complicated friendship. - May 26th 2013, 10:09 PM

I met this guy about three years ago. I remember we hung out one summer about two years ago and everything was pretty nice and then we slowly went into a junky period which was pretty fun at that time (I don't encourage anyone to do that) we used to smoke weed and then we started snorting different things.
I had a lot of experiences and adventures that can happen when you are stoned or high but of course this had to end at some moment. This period lasted about a year, then things started to crumble slowly as it was his last year of what would be called here "high school" we went a week to the beach after his graduation and then things kinda died. (this was last year).
He came back to town every now and then, we didn't really call eachother since he kind of pushed me away every time I called him with questions like "did you call me for a reason?" etc... Sometimes when he came we hated eachother indirectly and we had a good time only in a few instances, most of those were when we were either drunk or high.

So after all that I started questioning my friendship, at one time I considered him my best friend and now I'm started to question the fact that he was more than a "Junky Friend".
Every time we see eachother we kind of settle for some sort of "temporary relationship" in which we enjoy eachother while it lasts and then we avoid eachother or rather he avoids me until I finally find him again.

I'm always open for anything he suggests to do when we met, I always try to answer his calls or call him back as soon as I can but he never does the same and he is great at making me feel awful if I don't do anything according to his plans.

I guess I probably can't stop talking to him completely even if I wish to since I still care about him and we have a past and a lot of friends in common. But this situation bothers me every time I think about him and I just feel screwed up.
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Re: Questioning my complicated friendship. - May 29th 2013, 04:21 PM

It's hard to let go of a friend you have a lot of history with. I've had to do that a few times over the past year, because my priorities have changed and I can't allow certain people in my life to pull me down emotionally. You know this guy is "bad news," but you continue to hold on to him because of the historic value you have with him. Reminding yourself of how badly he treats you now, how you deserve to have better friends, and how there could be both health and legal consequences for hanging out with him, may help you begin to distance yourself from him.

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