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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Agony Offline
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My friends, odd one out? - July 3rd 2013, 09:16 PM

I'm one of those people that have lots of friends that are all different. I hang out with athletes, nerds, goths and just about everybody in between. I myself am an athlete, nerd and kinda of goth on the inside (lol).
People think I'm weird though because before a basketball game I can be sitting in a corner reading and listening to scream. Most of my friends think my music is scary as don't understand why I listen to it. I'm known as a badass because of the clothes I wear and how I act at school, but I'm really not bad. I mean I'm tough but I don't break the law or ditch school.
My friends don't get me because I like to wear dark clothes, listen to dark music and I do (did) dark things (cutting, poppin pills, etc.) but I'm still the athlete and nerd too.
Right now I have 2 sides, the nerdy-athlete and the badass me. My friends like the nerdy-athlete but I am in love with my badass side.
How can I make them see that I want to be the badass girl all the time? I'm sick of having to bounce back and forth between the two. Also, how can I show my mom that I like the bad chick look better than the old me?

Sorry if that was confusing, it's a confusing subject to address, let alone describe. Anything helps, thinks for taking the time to read this.
-Ash



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

You can't change fate, but you can change your attitude towards it.
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Hypothesis. Offline
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Re: My friends, odd one out? - July 5th 2013, 03:02 AM

Hey there,

I know that it can be really hard to feel like you have to bounce back between one personality and the other, but don't feel ashamed to be who you are and don't feel the need to hide who you are.

Sit down and talk to your friends, explaining that just because you like dark clothes and music, doesn't mean you're a bad or scary person. Let them know that it's not going to stop you from wanting to hang out with them and you'll still probably attend the occasional basketball game, but you don't feel comfortable with bouncing back and forth between two personalities any longer. Explain to them that you understand that they like the nerdy-athlete side, but that's not who you are. Let them know that you'd really appreciate it if they gave the real you a try before writing you off completely.

I'd also sit down and say something similar to your mother. Honesty and communication are key, so maybe you can let her know that the nerdy-athlete side of you is something mostly used for your friends and family, but that's not who you really feel like. Let her know that this is who you are and you're going to continue to dress and listen to the music that you think best suits you.

Maybe you can also join some clubs and social groups that suit your interest where you can meet new friends who also connect with your personality. I'm not saying you have to give up your old friends but it may be nice to see if you can find some with similar tastes.

On a side note, from you saying you did do dark things, you've made it seem like cutting and popping pills are in your past. I'm so glad to hear that you've been able to put that sort of behavior behind you.

Best wishes!

-Dez


   
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Re: My friends, odd one out? - July 6th 2013, 12:53 PM

Hi, that sounds hard for you maybe try sitting down with your friends and mum and talk things through calmly, that way you will both know how you both feel and it might make you feel better






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