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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Kayla
Gender: Female
Location: Minnesota

Posts: 81
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: February 8th 2013

My best friend or former best friend /: - July 11th 2013, 10:35 PM

I have been best friends with her for 13 years and now she won't even talk to me and if she does its for like two minutes. So here's the story from what I understand. One night me her and another one of our friends were hanging out we were talking about smoking and stuff and she said she wanted to try it I kept telling her she didn't have to so I didn't pressure her into it and neither did our other friend. We had one and we as in all of us wanted another one I asked where we could get a cigarette she said "my dad keeps his in he garage" I asked her if she wanted to do it she could but she didn't have to. Well she ended up taking one. Well about a week later her parents confronted her that three smokes a lighter and $15 wa missing they asked her about it and she said we took a cigarette but never smoked it which was true but she blamed the whole thing on us and now her parents won't let me or our other friend hang out with her until we talk to them. But one problem is thy they won't even talk to me so I don't know what to do about that. And me and the other girl have been trying to talk to the friend we can't talk to to try to make our friendship work but she won't talk to us won't answere texts nothing she's just throwing away 13 years of friendship and I don't know what to do/: sorry for rambling if this doesn't make much sense sorry ha

sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.
I believe that we all fall down sometimes
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Ellie
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Location: The land with all the lakes

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Re: My best friend or former best friend /: - July 11th 2013, 10:44 PM

Hey Kayla, I'd say, if you really want to stay her friend talk to her parents. Her parents may be preventing her from talking to you and your other friends. Imo, I think you should just talk to them and see what the outcome is. Worst comes to worst, they yell at you and want you to stop hanging around their daughter, as if that hasn't already started happening. (Hoping you were 18, they have no reason to tell your parents.) I hope this helped, I'm not sure what else to say, but the obvious. I hope everything works out with your friend!

Just a few of my favorite Marilyn Monroe quotes

"Everybody is always tugging at you. They'd all like a sort of chunck out of you. I don't think they realize it, but it's like 'grrr do this, grr do that...' But you do want to stay intact and on two feet."
"I was never used to being happy, so that wasn't something I took for granted. You see, I was brought up differently from the average American child because the average American child is brought up expecting to be happy."
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Re: My best friend or former best friend /: - July 14th 2013, 09:17 PM

Your friend did something she shouldn't have done, she got caught, and now she regrets her decision. It's easier for her to blame you guys than to own up to what she did. Unfortunately, she may be so afraid of taking responsibility for her actions that she'll continue to push you two away.

I'd think very carefully about how you want to approach this. Talk to your other friend about what you might tell her parents. Are you going to go with the complete truth, or "fudge it" a little, so your friend looks a little bit more innocent in her parents' eyes?

Whatever you do, be respectful toward her parents, and own up to what you did. Be very direct about not taking the money and lighter, but don't accuse your friend of doing it - let her parents draw their own conclusions. You can offer to be put on "probation," only coming over to visit when parents are around to supervise.

Other than that, there isn't much else you can do, other than learn from this experience and try to make better decisions, so you don't get into trouble with adults or lose important friendships.

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