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HungryMattress Offline
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Name: Lauren
Gender: Female
Location: UK

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Join Date: July 15th 2013

I don't think I can take it anymore. - July 15th 2013, 05:40 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, I live with my Mum. I see my Dad on the odd occasion (my own choice). On the outside, I seem like the average teenage girl to anyone, what you'd expect from a teenager anyway. But inside, I feel like I'm dying. All because of my "mother" who constantly shouts and screams at me. The latest situation is; we have just gotten an 8 week old puppy, I adore him and all, but he is too much hard work. I know I have made the wrong choice in choosing a puppy at this time, I am not responsible or capable of caring for him, I barely even look after myself! I have told my mum, tried in so many ways to tell her I made a mistake and she's just like "Oh stop being so selfish and lazy, you choose to get him so deal with it." And that would force the end of the conversation. I have tried to talk to her again today, and I thought all the verbal abuse to me had stopped, but she just screamed at me saying "You don't deserve a home, your worthless, I wish you weren't born" etc. I've told my friends and they just seem to think it's normal but I know it's not right. It's made me feel so crap, and I honestly don't know if I can take much more. It's not like going to my Dad's house is an option, he's just worse in some respects. I really do wish I had somewhere else to go but until I can start earning for myself I am forced to listen to her and her comments about me.

Oh, and parents are supposed to buy their children clothes yes? I haven't had any for over a year and a half. I have 3 tops and 2 trousers I fit into now. That's it. "Get a job." she says, except it's not all that easy to just pop out and get a bloody job now is it?!

Sorry for ranting, I just need help or people to talk to about this. I'm honestly so lost and feeling so isolated right now.
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Re: I don't think I can take it anymore. - July 15th 2013, 08:00 PM

Lauren, if you need to talk I am here, if you want to just shoot me a PM sometime. As for your mom, its not normal and not right, you are right about that. If she continues to be like that to you, maybe you should tell someone about it, I don't know how old you are, but Id get out of the house for a bit each day, or try to stay out of situations that could cause your mother to be like that. I know if I was in the same situation you are in, I would be moving out as soon as possible, with other family members, it wouldn't have to be my father, I do not even speak to him, every time I try to see him he doesn't show. If you could do that there is always that option.
To recap you can get out of the house for a bit, move in with other family, avoid situations that would cause her to get upset or mad. Is it possible she is taking out her anger on you? Something she might be mad about, or upset about? Your father maybe, I don't know the situation that happen for them to not be together but it could still upset her, and the only person to take it out on, being you.
Either way, Lauren, its not right. I believe you can get through this, you won't have to live there forever, try making a resume and giving it out, to get a job, the sooner you do, the sooner you get out of the house more, get the things you want, and the sooner you can move out.
I hope this helps.
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Re: I don't think I can take it anymore. - July 15th 2013, 08:45 PM

I would try to consider if there's anywhere else you can stay. You don't deserve to be treated like that, okay? Go to a friend's house, a relative's house, anywhere safe. Just try to get out of there. If you don't have any options remember that you won't be forced to live there for all of your life. You will eventually move out. The quicker you can get independence the better. If you ever need someone to listen I'm here.

♥ PM me anytime, I'm here for you ♥

Out of the ashes I'm burning like a fire. You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar. I've got shame, I've got scars that I will never show. I'm a survivor in more ways than you know. 'Cause all the pain and the truth, I wear like a battle wound. So ashamed, so confused, I was broken and bruised. Now I'm a warrior.
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HungryMattress Offline
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Re: I don't think I can take it anymore. - July 15th 2013, 09:32 PM

Thankyou Kayla and Emily. For months now, I haven't been able to go to friends or family, because they either don't want to know or are never around to talk to. I am gonna start job hunting as soon as I turn 16 (20th August) so then I will be out a lot more hopefully. It's really reassuring knowing that some people DO care what I am feeling, thankyou. <3
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