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I need HELP - July 23rd 2013, 11:04 PM

Hello I'm new to teen help and I was wondering I get pretty badly treated at home I'm adopted by my aunt and I was wondering if by 16 I'm 14 but when I turn 16 if I can do whatever I want and get kicked out and she threatens to take me to adoption so when I'm 16 do I still go to adoption or can I become my own person ? I was thinking by 16 I can live with friends and stuff
   
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Re: I need HELP - July 24th 2013, 05:00 PM

Ok, if I am not mistaken you are telling me your aunt adopted you (why are you adopted?), and she is mistreating you. Is it at a level to be considered abusive? Sounds like it but not 100% sure. And she is threatening to kick you out when your 16? And you want to know if you can just leave by 16 and go live with your friends?

Here's the thing, most people live with their parents, and a lot of families don't just have a random spare bedroom to give out to kids who need it, it can happen but I wouldn't be counting on that being your solution to an abusive situation, and even if it were a logical solution you wouldn't have to wait until your 16 to do so, you could talk to a good friend or 2, let them know what is going on at home and see if, when the time comes if they could maybe talk to their parents and see if they'd be able to let you stay with them a bit. And most 16 year olds aren't going to be moving on on their own for kicks, living expenses are high.... So really, you could get lucky and hope that someone can randomly take you in. But I wouldn't count on it and your aunt can report you as a run away up until you are 18.

So my answer is that, yes, there is a small chance that this is possible, but I wouldn't depend on it as a solution and it is by no means realistic in my opinion. I think that what you should really be doing is contacting children's aid, family and children services or family and child welfare, what ever organizational name you have in your area. Tell them what is going on and tell them you need help. They can do several options. They can work with you and your aunt to help discontinue the abuse and make you feel safe and secure at home. Or they can remove you from the home and place you with a foster family. It will depend what they have to work with. But either way, you should pursue this option for the time being




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: I need HELP - July 24th 2013, 07:05 PM

But everytime I ask a friend Their parents don't care at all it's just she won't let it happen and if I did call CPs or something I would go to a foster home and have to wait until I'm the given age to get out which I don't want cause I have a girlfriend and shit and I want to finish school
   
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Re: I need HELP - July 26th 2013, 11:29 PM

I am sorry to hear about the current position you are in. All this really depends on where you are (IE: the United States, Canada, etc). If you are in the U.S, each state has different laws. However, where I am in the United States, once you turn 17 you are considered an adult. Regarding foster/adoption, you are not considered an adult until age 18 (it's a very gray area). And in cases where the teen/person is a ward of the state, you are not considered an adult until age 21.

It sounds like you are in a very abusive type relationship - which is never a good thing to be in, and to be living around. My recommendation to you is to look online regarding the laws of your state or country (IE: "What are the laws in ______ regarding adoption and legal adult?" or something similar).

I sincerely wish you the best of luck, and I would defiantly look into those laws and maybe even talk to the school counselor regarding your options & advice on what to do next.


Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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