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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Aeran Offline
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Unhappy I don't know what I did wrong! - August 14th 2013, 11:12 AM

My sister got married a few days ago and didn't even tell me. Back in October she seemed so excited about the wedding and really seemed to want me there. Things are so strained in the family, but I don't see why she would leave me out. My brother got married in January and didn't tell me either! I've been pushed aside from both of my siblings and I don't know what I did wrong! I'm always trying to pull my family back together and everything I do seems to backfire.

What the hell do I do now?

I just want my family to be a family, but my mom and stepfather are constantly at each other's throats. My father's wife hates me and he holds back from talking to me because she doesn't want him to. Neither of my siblings want anything to do with me. My mom and my grandmother aren't speaking. I have no one left...

I'm so tired of all the fighting... would anyone even give a flip if I just cut all ties and disappeared? Why should I spend all this heartache and tears on people who just don't seem to care?
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Re: I don't know what I did wrong! - August 14th 2013, 04:39 PM

Hello, Aeran! I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult time with your family members. It sounds like you HAVE put a lot of time and effort into salvaging your relationships with everyone, and while your intentions may have been good, you might have come across as too "pushy" or "nosy." If people don't want to talk to each other, then as unfortunate as it is, that's their right. If you try to solve everyone's problems, you'll be putting yourself last, and that will eventually come back to bite you in the butt. Right now, I'd stop worrying about getting So-and-So to talk to their mom/dad/sibling/etc. Just focus on the relationships you want to have with others. If you can get in touch with your sister and offer your congratulations on her marriage, you may want to take advantage of the opportunity to acknowledge that you might have unintentionally done things to push her away. Ask if she can provide some feedback, so you can change and focus on just being a brother for her, vs. the "mediator" for her and the rest of the family. If she's not willing to talk, you could try your brother, or another family member that you only recently had a falling out with.

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