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ilikethisgame Offline
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I don't understand my parents - August 22nd 2013, 07:18 PM

I'm in my 2nd year of university and I am moving back in just over a week. My parents attitudes about it are always really odd.

When I move back, my mother always sobs and gets very upset about it and then hardly talks to me while I'm at uni, being very cold on texts and on the phone. I never hear from her if I don't do it first and even then she's offish.
When I move back home she always treats me to chocolates and my favourite meal and seems so happy to see me. So why doesn't she ever want to talk to me normally?

My dad is the entire opposite. When I move back he won't stop talking about me. He constantly badgers my mum EVERY day "Have you heard from her yet? What about now? .....and now? How about now?" And is always dying to talk to me. Once he went on and on about seeing me and so I came home to see him and the night I got there, he went down the pub without me! Was not at all bothered when I actually got home. I never see him and he doesn't speak to me. He's only interested when I'm not there, it's so odd.

What on earth is going on with my parents? I don't know if I'm coming or going.

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Re: I don't understand my parents - August 22nd 2013, 08:22 PM

I might have a guess about your dad. Maybe he worries about you when you're away? so he wants to hear from you to know you're okay, but when you're right there and able to be with him whenever he wants, he doesn't react because he knows where you are and what you're doing. Your mom I'm not sure about. Maybe she wants to make you're time home special so she interacts less with you while you're gone so that when you're home it's more important to her? Or she wants you to be out with friends having fun or whatever and doesn't want to feel like she's taking away from that? I really don't know.

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Re: I don't understand my parents - August 23rd 2013, 01:44 AM

I can only venture a guess as well, but here's the feeling I'm getting from both of your parents. Your mom may feel betrayed on some level when you leave. She wants your love and attention, and when you leave (even though it's for a good reason), she perceives it as abandonment/rejection. As a result, she's very cold toward you, until you return home and give her your "full attention" again. As for your dad, he's probably just worried because he doesn't know where you are and who you're with at any given time. He can carry on with his usual activities when you're home, because he knows you're safe. When he can't see you or hear from you, though, he feels anxious.

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