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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Shay11798 Offline
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problem besties - August 26th 2013, 11:37 AM

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Hi, I need some advise.. help me please.

I'm a very self contious person... And i think that these two girls in my friendship group are my main problem... They are just as amazing friends as the rest of my group but behibd my back they call me fat. Ugly, faggot, slut (which I cant be cuz, well yeah) Alsorts more, if i confront them they blame it on other people or they just insult me to my face and then in a few days they will buy me something and say like oh i had a bad day, also if im not their friend they will spread crap about me.. they are also the reason not only that Im really self cpntious but that other peopke think Im ugly... Please help me.. thank-you to anyone who can help ..
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Re: problem besties - August 26th 2013, 02:52 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you're friends are being like this they don't really sound like friends to me I went through exactly the same I had a small group of friends and one of them were like this but honestly I think they are really jelous of you or the feel self consious about there self so they say stuff about other people who they think are much better looking than them self I would say tell them to grow up or tell them there just jelous because that's what this sounds like so if they slag you just laugh because they are jelous of you they say the things but what they think is "aww she's better looking than me" so don't let them get you down
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Re: problem besties - August 26th 2013, 03:06 PM

Hi there, welcome to TH.

Okay, first of all, friends don't do that to one another. They'll tease each other for sure (in a good way), but they'd never do something rash like that. Your so called "friends" that are these two "amazing" girls are not really your true friends. Think about it. They make fun of you behind your back, blame problems on other people, insult you to your face, spread rumors about you, and for what? To control, to oppress you? Shouldn't that be telling you something? Friends are ones that are those who won't ever leave your side, who won't forget the great person that you are, who will never intentionally hurt you in any way, who really care about you and go through your good and bad days with you, who'll sacrifice part of their time being part of your life, who share the quality of honesty, dignity and respect, who will stand by your side everyday no matter what because you mean something more to them than just another typical, ordinary person in their life, and who'll be there until the end. That is the true meaning of friendship, and I know this to be true because I have friends who match this exact description. Do yourself a favor, and stop being friends with those two girls. They're just causing you nothing but trouble. It'll probably be hard for you, but you deserve friends that are better than that.

“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
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Re: problem besties - August 26th 2013, 04:10 PM

That's not a friend. I'd say fight fire with fire but then you'll stoop down to there level. I think you shouldn't talk to them anymore. Give them all their gifts back too.
And don't be self conscious, remember you're a cute fire bomb and those so called friends are ugly gremlins.
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Re: problem besties - August 26th 2013, 09:36 PM

You know, it's one thing for friends to tease in good fun but a whole other to be malicious, mean and cruel. Friends are supposed to make each other feel good about themselves NOT worse. If that's what your friends are doing you can do better. I know it sucks when you think they will just get worse if there is no more "friendship" loyalty protecting you, but it doesn't sound like you have a lot going for you now.

Yes, they might spark up a little if you finally cut them out but at least you will be in a position to finally say "I can do better. I deserve better." You're never going to feel good about yourself if you are surrounding yourself with people who tear you down, so I say end it and find better friends. You'll be better for it in the long run

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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Re: problem besties - August 28th 2013, 03:07 PM

These girls don't sound like your friends whatsoever, the above posters are right. It sounds like they're either jealous of you or they have been called those things behind their backs, too, and have to pick on someone to make themselves feel better. The thing that I would do? Kill them with kindness. Act as if nothing happened and treat them with so much kindness it isn't even funny. Eventually they'll most likely give up trying to get a rise out of you.

I've been through hell and back and came out stronger than ever.
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