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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy I'm having issues with my dad. - August 29th 2013, 07:05 PM

I'm having some issues with my dad specifically, I'm feeling terrible right now like a mixture of hatred, depression, agitation, so bare with me.

Alright the problem i have is that, my dad is extremely over-protective of me, now i know some of you may see that as a good thing and that he only cares about me or whatever but you have no idea, seriously -_-. You can only imagine the stuff i had to go through due to his over-protectiveness.
Here's the story:
Back when i was around 13 to my 16th birthday, i BARELY been leaving the house, When i was 14 to 15 i use to only leave the house once or twice EVERY FEW MONTHS. And Back in summer of 2012 i have only left out of the house 3 times since June to September which is a 4 month period! That's how extreme things are for me, and i felt so fucking miserable, i actually attempted suicide due to me being inside that much, i felt like my entire life would be like that it felt like i was in a prison. And most of all of that is due to my dad being so over-protective. I couldn't go outside of the house alone, and due to his over-protectiveness i NEVER made real life friends. Now since i'm 16 (I've been 16 since January of this year), I've been given alittle more freedom(thank the lord), i'm allowed to go on walks but i can't walk off the block of my neighborhood -_-. Because of my dad i never had the opportunity to build relationships with people my age or anything i lived most of my teenage years alone and miserable and depressed inside my house, i didn't even go to public school, i was in an online school program for a few years and i hated it.

There is alot more horrible issues i've went through and experience to my dad's over protectiveness, but i don't feel that they're necessarily to list here since i don't see the point since all the bad things that had happen to me due to him is all in the past now, and plus i'm running out of breath typing this.

Anyway, fast forwarding to my current issue... So i've finally met a real life friend off the internet and she lives 3 miles away from my house and she said shes moving on Saturday so i wanted me and her to hang out for one last time before she moves. But guess what, i'm not allowed to walk there, all because of my dad, I'm not allowed to walk 3 miles out of the area of the house alone. I've finally met a real life friend i could be with in person, and ill only get to see her one last time, (aleast until I'm 18+.) And my dad wont allow me to visit her because "the walk to her house is to long and dangerous", give me a break... 3 mile distance from my house to hers is so dangerous and horrifying to my dad. I had to put up with a guy like this my entire life, im about to lose my mind here. Actually, i literally already lost my mind 3 or 4 times, i've had a few mental breakdowns in the past. See now I've been having thoughts of killing my dad, i realized something that if my dad wasn't in my life since from when i was 12-13 until now i would of been better off. Like i don't like disobeying/lying or whatever to my parents or anything, i'm not a rebellious or rude or disrespectful teenager, so i tried to put up with his shit but now i'm 16 years old and i'm done with his crap I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I've had thoughts of finally starting to sneak out to places without my parents consent or knowledge. I just wish he'd stop treating me like a helpless, defenseless, needy, weak, child. I'm not 9 years old. Also if you think he may be over-protective because of how my physical body is and that i may be small or short or really skinny/weak or whatever, let me describe myself: my height is 6'2 feet, I'm a male, [Edited] AND I'm 16 years old, I'm turning 17 in 5 months. So if worse comes to worse, i think i'm capable of defending myself.

What should i do guys?
Please help me guys i'm begging you.
I don't know who else to turn to with this issue.
I just want my dad to lay off and leave me alone without me having to get violent or negative.

Last edited by PSY; August 30th 2013 at 08:32 PM. Reason: Please do not include body weight figures on TeenHelp.
   
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Re: I'm having issues with my dad. - August 29th 2013, 11:28 PM

Hey,
That is a horrible thing to go through. It must be hard to feel locked up all of the time. Would you be able to talk to your mother about this? She might be able to help you out. If you can't talk to your mother, could you find some other trusted adult to talk to?

I think it is a good idea to sit down with your dad and tell him what is bothering you. Tell him what being alone all the time does to you. Explain how you feel and prove to him that you are responsible. Maybe you guys could come to some kind of agreement such as you call him when you get to wherever you are going and call him when you leave. That's just an idea.

Could you ask for your dad to drive you to your friends house? If its the walk that makes it seem dangerous, maybe he will feel more comfortable driving you there. Also, has he met your friend or her parents? That might make him feel better when you are with them.

I hope this helped a little bit. Stay strong. You will be 18 soon and then you will have the freedoms that you deserve
<3 Nal


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Re: I'm having issues with my dad. - August 30th 2013, 03:42 AM

Do you know any adults who you can approach?

Ok, bear with me. You parents (father?) may feel justified in his actions. He probably thinks he's doing what is best without realizing how much it is hindering you. It is making you depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts now. But not only that, it's totally unrealistic to not let you experience anything. Yes, horrible things can happen in the world but he cannot protect you for ever at at least letting you experience some things now will help protect you cause those experiences can prepare you.

The problem is that if you approach him alone he probably won't hear it. He'll might take an approach closer to "well, your just a child, you don't know what things are like, I do what I do to protect you". Which pretty much sounds how it already is, it's like he's so consumed in protecting you he doesn't realize how bad it is.

SO that's why I ask about the adult. If you ask someone (preferably another parent) to intervene, maybe if you can get a few adults, and have them talk to your dad that way they can talk him around a little and explain to him why his methods are, in fact, hindering you. Another adults perspective might allow some insight to help him get over what ever issue he has




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