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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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faded rainbow Offline
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I really need to .... - April 26th 2009, 08:10 PM

I really need to have an argument with my cousin just have it out with her its been a year since we've talked because she upset me and iv avoided her not that its difficult she only shows up when she wants something shes selfish self centred and has the maturity the same as her 3 yr old daughter
i just never see her, i dont want to cause a massive family argument and i dont particularly want to do it through facebook but i need to tell her how i feel cos its really getting to me, i was fragile last year really going through a bad time so never really stood up for myslef when she was being nasty shes 26/27 i duno i just need to get it all of my chest im bottling it all up


im just so tired of being here
suppresed by all my childish fears

these wounds wont seem to heal
this pain is just too real
theres just too much that time cannot erase

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
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Re: I really need to .... - April 27th 2009, 02:46 PM

Hey there,

It's good to get things off our chests and have discussions when something goes wrong, but I have a feeling that starting an argument will only make this worse. I know you are upset and angry right now, but would you be able to just talk this through with her instead of arguing? I don't really think an argument would help fix anything between you two.

Try talking it over with her on the phone or go to see her and do it in person. Just try and keep this civil.

I hope talking about it makes you feel better.

Nat.


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FromTheAshes Offline
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Re: I really need to .... - April 27th 2009, 04:23 PM

As Nat said, it's really good to get things off our chests but sometimes an argument can just make things worse, because the other person gets defensive and can easily stop listening to what we're trying to say. It might be better to vent those pent up feelings before you try to talk to her - write it all out, post it here if you want to, do some exercise to burn off the energy, anything that helps you to express some of how you're feeling. If you can do that, it might help you to stay calmer when you talk to her - and if you stay calm, hopefully she'll be more likely to listen to what you have to say. Let her know that you feel hurt when she does certain things, and also make it clear whether you want to resolve the issue or simply let her know your feelings. If it's just to resolve your feelings, it might be worth writing a letter first - you don't have to send it, but it can be a good way to release some of that anger and direct it at the appropriate place, without making the situation worse. If you do decide to send it, it might be worth re-drafting it to make sure it's calm and civil, so that there's more chance she'll be prepared to take in what you have to say.

I hope you can get this off your chest and express yourself because that's a really important thing to be able to do. Take care,

Lils
   
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