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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Doesnt care or doesnt know how to help? - October 7th 2013, 04:55 AM

So my best friend in the past has been supportive and caring and tries to help when im really depressed. But the other night in the middle of our normal texting conversation i randomly brought up how i dont feel like i can keep going anymore and how death would be nice. And normally any person would be concerned or would talk to you about it right? Well he didnt respond at all that night and didnt text me at all for two days. So in my head i just see it as he doesnt care all that much but could it be cause he doesnt know what to do?
   
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Re: Doesnt care or doesnt know how to help? - October 7th 2013, 05:20 AM

It could be that he doesn't know what to do. It could also be that he thinks you're doing it for attention (I DO NOT believe this) and so he thinks he's "helping" by ignoring it. Again, I do NOT believe you are doing it for attention, but he might.


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Re: Doesnt care or doesnt know how to help? - October 8th 2013, 03:48 AM

Most likely, if I had to guess, he is doing this because he doesn't know what to say or what to do. I found that when I was first introduced into the subject of self harm, I had no idea what to say to my best friend who was doing it. I was speechless, and for awhile I found myself ignoring him. Eventually I started to gain knowledge on the subject, and I was way more open to talking to him about it.

So don't think he's ignoring you to make you feel bad, or because he doesn't care. My guess is that he does care, but he's alittle scared and confused about it all (which I think is understandable). Give him alittle time and then try talking to him.


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Re: Doesnt care or doesnt know how to help? - October 9th 2013, 06:27 PM

It's probably because he doesn't know what to do. He has heard you do this before and doesn't know how to help you, it is neither one of your faults. You can't do anything and neither can he, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care.
   
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Re: Doesnt care or doesnt know how to help? - October 9th 2013, 10:29 PM

I agree with the other members who responded to your thread. Another possibility is that your best friend is getting "burned out." If you talk about being depressed on a frequent basis, and don't "share the burden" among a number of people, your best friend could begin to feel physically and emotionally exhausted due to being your one source of support. Of course, it's not your fault if he's the only person you feel you can open up to, and it's not his fault if he's reaching his physical and emotional limits. You might want to begin finding other people you can turn to, though, such as a mental health professional who can "contain" everything you're feeling and provide a safe, consistent place for you to talk about what you're going through. That would leave you with more time to talk about "lighter" material with your best friend and give him a break from the "darker" material.






   
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