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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Stronger000 Offline
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Name: Naia
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Friend Problems - October 19th 2013, 11:04 AM

So at school, I have a hard time making friends. There is this one girl who I am really close with, and last year we were inseparable. Best friends. This year, she still claims we are best friends till the end of the world, but given the chance, hangs out with other people. I am always her second choice. I coul b talking to her, someone else will walk in the room, and she will leave me. At lunch, she never sit with me anymore. Am I overreacting? I just don't want to lose her as a friend. What am I ding wrong?


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Re: Friend Problems - October 19th 2013, 04:32 PM

You're not doing anything wrong, or overreacting, but are you talking to her when she talks to you? From what you've said, it looks like you don't when she approaches you, but don't quote me on that. If you're barely talking to her when she tries to talk to you, your friend could be getting the idea and assuming that you want to be alone. All in honesty though, it seems like she's not being considerate of you since she will leave you when someone she knows walks in the room, and the fact that she doesn't hang out and sit with you at lunch anymore. However, before assuming anything, I would just sit down and have a talk with her about this. Let her know that you want her to make time for you, and just see what happens from there. In case that all doesn't turn out well with your friend, don't be too down about it. I know it's hard for you to make friends, but I promise you that if contribute enough effort to meeting other people and just being yourself, there will be some people who will want to be around you.

I wish you all the best that this will all turn out well for your sake, and don't lose hope.




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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Re: Friend Problems - October 19th 2013, 11:50 PM

Hi Naia. Well it sounds like you are in a classical teenage friendship. While what she may be saying is true, you do have to understand she has other friends to talk to and hangout with. Now, what I don't agree with is her leaving you for others - instead she should invite you over to get to know her other group of friends.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong, I think she just wants to have more than one friend or group of friends (and you should too). Your best bet is to talk to her about it, and tell her that you sometimes feel like a second choice, and you'd like to be able to hangout and talk to her more often than not. Hopefully after talking to her about this, some things will change. Communication is key.

I also would highly recommend you attempting to create new friendships. Maybe it's best if you join a group, club, volunteer organization, or something similar in which you can meet new people. Remember, making friends is a trial and error process. You may lose some, but you will gain others.

Keep your head up!


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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