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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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BDF Offline
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I totally ignored this guy - October 19th 2013, 02:30 PM

I came into the library, saw him and ignored him. He's a bit of a nerd, but I got no problem with that. I got no problem with him at all. So it's going to sound strange, but I just "didn't recognize" him, even though I've seen him plenty of times and we've spoken before and worked together briefly. I'm still not 100% sure if it was him. There was sustained eye contact for maybe even 10 seconds, which made it all the more awkward. Maybe he just didn't look himself on that day, maybe I was also tired and distracted etc. Maybe a combination of things. Maybe it was a temporary case of "face blindness" on my part.

I now realise I probably should have gone over and said "hi" or something even if I wasn't sure it was him. Now I just feel stupid. He probably did too.



How should I go about resolving this? He's not the kind of guy who will start some bullshit, turning people against me and such. He's not the type who will really cause me any harm whatsoever, that's not the point. I just feel like a fool and wanna put it right. The sustained eye contact is what makes it awkward. It feels like I slagged him off in his face.

I got ideas of how to deal with it. Could just do it on facebook and clear it up, though that feels cheap and I don't use facebook much anyway. Could just talk to him I suppose, although how do you explain "hey I didn't recognize you by accident"? lol.

What would others do? I've never quite dealt with this sort of thing.











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"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: I totally ignored this guy - October 19th 2013, 02:54 PM

If you have a way of contacting him (email, fb or in person etc) I'd just say something very informal like "hey, I thought I saw you at the library yesterday but wasn't sure."
Then he will say something about it, or be lost if it wasn't him at the library and you can go on from there. I wouldn't give an explanation about the details why unless you know he will take it lightly. Saying you meant to tell him hi would be sufficient, I think
He'll most likely be fine with it, don't worry about it too much. Mistakes happen. I usually tell people that my eyes acted funny or my brain was weird, if something like this happened.
   
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Re: I totally ignored this guy - October 20th 2013, 12:34 AM

Well I've been in very similar situations, and there are a few different ways you can go about making this situation 'right'.

I'd prefer you trying to find him for a face-to-face interaction, which will seem more sincere. However if you feel that you can't do that for some reason, you can contact him via phone, text, facebook, email, etc. What do you say? Well, I would say something along the lines of: "Hey, were you at the library the other night?". He will either say yes or no - if yes, say: "I thought that was you, but I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to go say hi to someone I didn't know!". Saying something like that will take the blame off you, because you honestly weren't sure if it was him anyway. A script like the one I just listed will most likely resolve any awkwardness between the two of you, and also resolve any conflict that may have been caused.

I hope that everything turns out ok!


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: I totally ignored this guy - October 20th 2013, 09:55 AM

Yeah I'd just pretend it is nothing at all and no big deal. Next time you see him just go up and talk to him or wave based on which ever is most similar to your normal interactions. If you clear it up in that manor I feel like most normal not over the top people would simply forgive and forget it as an accident.
   
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Re: I totally ignored this guy - October 20th 2013, 08:32 PM

As you said, telling him over Facebook is pretty cheap and lacks sincerity. When you see him next time, greet him and ask if that was him in the library. If not, no harm done, you're a human and shit happens. If it was him, any harm that was done would be corrected right away as it was a lapse of memory for any number of reasons you mentioned. If you don't see him for a week or two, he probably forgot about it or wouldn't care, unless you unknowingly have a large impact on him.
   
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Re: I totally ignored this guy - October 21st 2013, 12:31 AM

These things happen, especially if we are distracted and it's someone that we only know briefly so I wouldn't worry about it. Next time you see him, you can apologise for ignoring him, say it wasn't intentional but you just didn't recognise him/wasn't sure if it was him and I'm sure he'll understand.
   
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Re: I totally ignored this guy - October 23rd 2013, 06:34 PM

Turned out that it wasn't him at the library. Still awkward that some stranger would hold eye contact like that with me, like he knew me.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: I totally ignored this guy - October 24th 2013, 07:02 PM

Maybe he thought he knew you like you thought you might have known him, or he thought you were cute, haha, ya never know.
   
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