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JeSuisIngenue Offline
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Unhappy Can't socialize?? - October 22nd 2013, 07:17 PM

I have this problem where, basically, I am not able to pronounce words clearly. (It's not a lisp. It sounds more like a constant slurr.) I was able to speak fluently as a child, but now my own family can't understand me. It's grown over the years into a serious case of social anxiety and every social situation I'm in stresses me out. I'm so frustrated and sick of it.
I'm also not able to organize my thoughts very clearly- which contributes to the problem of communicating.

((The strange thing is though: I am a very accomplished writer, and I have many awards and compliments from people who believe that I can express myself in a very eloquent manner. If I can write clearly- why can't I speak clearly?? ))

My parents yell at me for juggling my sentences and mumbling all the time. I try to think about what I'm saying but I crash and burn after a sentence or two.
I recently transferred to a new school and I have only one friend, I don't talk very much during our conversations because I fear she may think I'm an idiot.
I want to make more friends- I want to be able to enjoy a conversation.

Do I have some kind of social disorder? Is there any way for me to fix this besides reciting tongue-twisters?

I can't take it anymore.
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Skeleton Offline
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Re: Can't socialize?? - October 22nd 2013, 07:34 PM

Have you tried visiting a doctor? They might be able to tell you what it is that is causing it and help you work on making it better. It isn't right of your family to yell at you because of it because you can't control these things and I imagine it only makes it worse, ask them if they could help and support you instead and that might help if you feel comfortable speaking around your parents, it might transfer to when you're speaking to friends.
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Re: Can't socialize?? - October 22nd 2013, 11:44 PM

I feel as though I have something very similar to this. I'm able to formulate sentences in my head clearly, but I have a ton of trouble when it comes to speaking in front of adults or strangers. I don't have this problem when speaking in front of my parents or friends. I used to be a lot worse, but I started outgrowing it over time. Maybe you will outgrow it too. If you really think this is a severe problem that you can't function with, you should see a doctor or counselor. (I'm also complimented often for some of my writing, formal or not.)

"Structure is the enemy of progressive thought."
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Re: Can't socialize?? - October 24th 2013, 12:38 AM

Unfortunately we can not diagnose you with a disorder since no one on TeenHelp is a Doctor. However, we can give our own personal input on the matter. I think that your best plan of action is visiting a Doctor, and if that doesn't help (or he is unsure of the right plan of action) ask your Doctor what recommendations he has for a speech pathologist in your area. A Speech Pathologist specializes in communication disorders as well as swallowing disorders; which seems to be a problem you may have. Ultimately, they will be one of the only people (besides a Doctor) that can tell you if you do or do not have a speech disorder.

On another note, I'd have the Doctor and/or Speech Pathologist explain to your parents that this isn't something you can just stop, and it will take work and patience. Support from your family is what you currently need to better yourself (especially in regards to confidence/self-esteem) while also developing your speaking skills.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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