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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Being ignored by a friend. - November 4th 2013, 03:30 AM

Hey guys!
Wow, I just realized that I haven't posted in this forum in such a long time! Anyways, I need your help/advice on what to do. So I feel like one of my best friends is ignoring me a lot lately. So whenever I text her to talk to her, she literally ignores me nowadays. Oh and by the way, this is an internet friend. So we've been friends for about 1.5 years and all of last year and this past summer, we'd text like everyday. I don't understand whether she's gotten busy because she's started high school but the part that's strange is that about 2 weeks ago, I texted her just as a way to check up on how she's doing, and she responds telling me that she'll text me later. I said "alright, ttyl" and didn't text her since. So whenever a person says that they'll text back later, how long does "later" refer to? Usually if a person tells me that they'll talk to me later, they usually contact me back within 2-3 days later and it's been 2 weeks and she still hasn't. I know she's alright because I'm friends with her on Facebook and she's posting there a lot. So, should I wait and see if she'll text me or should I text her again?

Thanks for your help!


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Chris Offline
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Re: Being ignored by a friend. - November 4th 2013, 09:58 PM

Hi there Rishy!

Typically I love to be honest with people, so I'm going to show you my perspective (which may be viewed as alittle negative, but it's definitely a possibility). For the situation you're in, being online friends and all, I often find that it is much more likely that you lose connection, and move on from those friends than ones you'd see in real life (ie: school, work, etc). Your connection with her originated from something that teens often use as a getaway from real life (ie: to vent, explore new things, etc). However maybe she is starting to faze away from that idea, and with them comes fazing out the friends she made. I've been on both ends. I've pushed away from friends online because I felt the friendship was going no where, or the most common reason was because I stopped visiting that particular site/social network, but also I've been pushed away. As said before, the more common reason is the distance, and also the big thing we have to deal with every day called life which can get in the way of things sometimes.

She may be super busy with school and unable to communicate with you, or she may simply be moving on from the online world (or that particular site you've met her on), or she may have found a reason to push away from you. All these reasons are typically what you would find, now it just comes down to finding out which one it is.

On another note, the 'ttyl' thing is often what I did to push others away from me. I'd tell them I was busy, and that I'd talk to them later, and I'd never text them back. I'm not saying this is what she is doing, but is surely is a possibility. What would I do in this situation? Well, I would text her. Be honest and communicate with her. Tell her that you feel things have been alittle 'off' lately, and that the friendship isn't what is use to be. Don't get aggressive or place blame, but be general and try to see what she says. If she responds negatively, try to take it from there, if she doesn't respond at all, then I think you need to move on. And finally, if she responds in a positive manor, hopefully things will start to improve (ie: the door to communication will be re-opened).

Friendships online and in the real world are much alike. You will lose some friends, and gain others. It's a trial and error process - so keep going! And remember, communication is key to successful and healthy relationships/friendships.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Being ignored by a friend. - November 5th 2013, 04:20 AM

Hey there,

I agree with Chris about maybe sending her a text message and ask about what's going on. You can let her know that you understand if things have been busy lately, but it has been two weeks and she still hasn't texted you back, and you want to make sure that nothing's wrong, either with her personal life or between the two of you, that is making her not text back. You can mention that whether it's something in her personal life or between the two of you, you aren't upset with her, and will be willing to help her through everything so it's worked out. You can let her know why you are concerned about the fact that she didn't text back as well.

After you text her this second time, though, the ball is in her court. If she wants to respond and tell you what's going on, she will, but if she doesn't answer, take that as a sign that she doesn't want to talk to you right now for whatever reason, and try and move on. If she decides one day to return and speak with you about what happened, she will. But, at least you'll have a chance of getting an answer if you text her again, and you'll be able to say that at least you tried.

I hope all works out!

-Dez


   
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