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boiling point with my dad - December 14th 2013, 04:08 AM

Okay I'm new to asking for help and advice with My problemes but I don't think i can take it anymore. My dad is an alcoholic that abuses the shit out of his family. I no longer respect or even fear him for that matter but I don't know what to do. It's not really me I'm worried about but My mom and lil SIS. My mom can't defend herself from My dad and my little sister still wants My dad in her life. Things between me and my dad have never been good, the first 10 years of My life he beat My mom and made me and My sister feel like shit. He cooled down for a while, but know that I'm older I feel as if he always targets me. He constantly points out little flaws in me, cusses me out to no end, targets My mom and SIS to get a rise out of me and recently has been edging me on to fight him or leave to show him I have balls. My problem is weather or not to do it, My mom holds me back but every day I feel like a coward not doing anything. He hits me and I'm just glad he dosent hurt the rest of.My family, but he tries to involve.them. so My question, is it wrong to fight your dad if its to protect the people you truly care about? And how can I lessen the feeling of being a coward, since he pretty much controls My life
   
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Re: boiling point with my dad - December 14th 2013, 08:14 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

There's another option you haven't listed here, which is calling child/family protective services. If you fight your father, then you might face criminal charges. An alternative would be to get the proper authorities involved. Do you have evidence of physical abuse (e.g., picture of bruises from when he hit you)? If not, do you think it would be possible to get evidence... or would your mother and sister at least be willing to back up your claims if the police and social services became involved? This is something you might want to discuss with your mother and sister in greater detail, because you do NOT have to endure this abuse and/or resort to violence! There ARE other steps you can take to protect yourself and your loved ones!






   
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Re: boiling point with my dad - December 16th 2013, 11:56 PM

I believe in that, protecting people you truly care about, rather than the ones who beat upon them. Its probably good for closure and sure, MAYBE it'll get rid of cowardice I mean... I'd be for it if you had no other resort... Because there is one very complicated problem: what about your sister, what will she think about it? When she sees or hears about it? If she is young enough to never remember, maybe you can get away with it, but... You have to think about that. And what if your mother wont stand behind you? What if she needs your father (for whatever reasons) and will stand for absolutely everything he puts her through because of what she needs? If you stand in the way it could get difficult.
I think you can outsmart him without beating him up. Get him in ways he wont understand...ways only you will know and be satisfied with so he wont come to you looking for revenge. Im talking, perhaps, spending so much time with your sister that he barely gets to see her? (I mean... Does he deserve it?) Or what about avoiding him unless absolutely necessary? If he wants things from you, make it hard for him to get. Make him work. Maybe he'll get tired. What about sending your mom out or taking your mom out on late nights, nights you know he's comin home in that alcholic state. What about leaving him out of everything and having the three of you connect away from him, to create seperation? Mess with him. But wisely. So that you can feel less of a coward and more of a protector.
And of course, if you need outside help, (child services) You can go that way too. I just dont know how old you are.
Good luck, really. (Daddy problems 4 lyfe amiright? -__-) I honestly, though, wish you the best.
   
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Re: boiling point with my dad - December 17th 2013, 02:49 AM

I think PSY's solution is the best bet here. There are honestly better ways to deal with this problem. You are old enough to be charged if you try to beat your dad. It doesn't make you a coward to say that you don't need to use physical force. I think it would make you incredibly brave to get the proper people involved like Robin said. It can be scary to have to go through but it would be better. It would get your family the help they REALLY need. Fighting your dad would solve anything, he can just fight back if he wants so you might even get hurt, you might get charged with assault, and he might not even leave or change at all as a result. Child protective sources and other organizations can step in and deal with it better. So please think about that.




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