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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
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Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 10th 2014, 06:22 PM

Ok I have this friend. He's very immature. I've always felt like he used me, like he'd only be really chatty/friendly and hang out etc. when he wanted something from me. Understandably this was an increasing problem for me.

Only the problem is I was selling my video game console, games and accessories. When I told him I was selling it for more cause I didn't want to be ripped off he completely flipped. He acted like I was being unreasonable as if I was just going to be like "oh ok, fine, it's not that big a deal" when I wasn't. Frankly I was insulted he'd been so self-serving as to take advantage of my ignorance and not tell me it was really worth more, it wasn't like I offered it specifically to him, he was just one of the people I initially asked to see if my idea for a sell point was right. And he took advantage hard core cause unlike others he knew exactly how much stuff was coming with it where as I think the other person thought I meant only the console.

Any ways, so I wouldn't back down. I told him that I was sorry it was a problem for him but that I wanted to be able to get what it was worth and that if it wasn't ok with him is look for someone else to buy it. Frankly I felt like I was being reasonable.

But next think I know he's just like "bye" and blocked me. I'm so pissed. He had no right to treat me like that. It was so immature. He's in his mid 20s. I can understand being annoyed if he'd really wanted it only to find out he could no longer affording the asking price but really, it make it seem like I'm being unreasonable and to think it was ok to take advantage of my not knowing how much it was worth is frankly insulting. And hat kind of "adult" gets mad at someone and just blocks them?

I can't handle being his friend any more. But he's the sort of person where, whether it's a week, a month or 6 months away, will just come skipping back into my life and expect me to like pretend he wasn't being a jerk. He'll even say something like "oh why haven't you been talking to me?" He's an asshole and this friendship needs to end. Once and for all. Only I am way to forgiving. How do I stop myself from just forgiving him. Again. For being an asshole. Again. I've had enough. I hate how he makes me feel.




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Re: Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 10th 2014, 07:18 PM

Well first, I do think that blocking you was a bit dramatic for the situation. He could have handled that a lot better. However, I do understand that he would be upset if he was all set to buy this stuff from you after you seemed to have an agreement. He should have been more honest with the price (if he had known it was worth more) but to be fair you could have checked into the worth more before saying he could buy it for however much he was going to buy it for.

As far as forgiving him, you really just need to keep yourself from doing that. If he tries coming back into your life, just tell him that it isn't going to work out and it's better for you if you move on. If he can't respect that, then block him from your accounts and try to ignore him. Even if he keeps being a jerk or you can't fully get rid of him, be cordial but firm in your decision.



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Re: Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 10th 2014, 10:23 PM

He shouldn't expect you to treat him well after acting like a child. If he was my friend...well...he wouldn't be my friend if he acted like that.




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Re: Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 16th 2014, 02:04 PM

Yeah, that definitely wasn't fair of him to block you just because you want a fair price for something you're selling. It basically proves he doesn't value your friendship very much, or at least that he isn't the most stable of people.

You can forgive him, but don't forget what he did and what this shows. You have to be more rational about it and remember this incident and all the others where he has made you feel bad. I can understand forgetting about something like this once or twice, but if it keeps happening, then you really just have to stand up for yourself and not associate with them anymore.



   
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Re: Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 16th 2014, 04:15 PM

Your friend sounds like a piece of work. I've had friends like that before and they're no longer in my life for a reason. However, if you've been friends for a long time it's understandable that you may want to understand him better before making such a decision.

It sounds very immature that he blocked you. I would let him cool off and then attempt to have an honest conversation with him. Give him a chance to explain why he was upset and apologize for his actions. Explain your side of things as well.

This may be a one-off thing that came from a break in communication. However, if he continues to have issues communicating with you and keeps reacting immaturely, maybe you should rethink whether you really want him in your life.

Blocking you over it sounds very unreasonable to me. Of course that he could have been angry if he thought there was a contract of sorts in place and that you didn't give him a chance to buy the items for the higher price as well. However, he shouldn't have been dishonest in the first place and after you told him about it, a better reaction would have been to tell you why he'd given you a lower price estimate (whether it was a honest mistake or not) and to ask you politely if you could sell it to him for a higher price instead. At most, he could have told you he was upset or sad. There was no need to cut off communication so suddenly.
   
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Re: Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 17th 2014, 02:57 AM

I can definitely totally understand him being annoyed. That much I could understand... It was the seriously immature reaction I got presented with for standing up for myself.

He's done stuff like this before which is why I'm sort of saying, you know what, enough is enough, I don't need to be friends with someone who's going to make me feel like shit just cause he's got problems.

I sort of feel like he expects everyone to let him do things his way, if you don't he seems to get pissed and cut you off.

It'd be one thing if we were 12, but we're not, we're in our 20's and I frankly would rather deal with more mature people.

Like I said, I was willing to talk about it and be mature, but his behaviour was really overboard

So thanks for every one who's answered so far




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Re: Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 20th 2014, 07:17 AM

It sounds like he used you a lot and that might have been the extent of his use for you. In his mind it could have been that all you were good for was that you let him take advantage of you. Once you stood up for yourself you were no longer of use to him he discontinued your relationship. This has happened to me before too, where I was friends with a complete sociopath that was entirely self serving, when I stood up for my self and stopped being a push over, the relationship ended. Don't take his behavior personally, it honestly sounds like you can do better as you sound like you are probably a fairly moral person.

He might also be trying this to manipulate you into submission by sending the message "if you don't let me have my way then we cant be friends", as you've stated this is extremely immature. The more people that say no to him the better as perhaps he will finally learn to that behaving like that is not okay and stop being such a self serving person. If I were you I wouldn't stick around to find out, but that is just my personal preference.
You said above that you hate how he makes you feel, to me that is a huge red flag. I would block him if you really do need to get away from him. That is what I do when I feel like a person can not longer be in my life. This way they can never talk to you and you don't have those weak moments when you end up talking to them again.

Congratulations on standing up for yourself and standing your ground, it can take a lot of courage to do that.


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Re: Friend completely flipped for no good reason and proceeded to block me - January 21st 2014, 03:46 AM

Yeah! And the thing was it wasn't even like he was swearing and calling me a bitch... It was like he was just saying other things to make me feel like shit (probably cause he's smart enough to control extreme hostility) but it was like he was so mad just cause I stood up for myself and said "no, I deserve more", and that I think was what was so disturbing about it...

Like I hate confrontation as it is, but it was really weird how he acted like that... I wouldn't be surprised if he is a sociopath, he only seems to be nice when there's something in it for him. That or he's REALLY narcissistic, I know I need to get better at standing up for myself and telling people how I feel about things (especially if something bothers me), cause a lot I just won't tell people things cause I don't want to cause any issue/upset with it.... But I think a part of me knew that talking to him about what I was thinking would be worse, that part of me knew that THIS is what would happen. And I'm really glad I didn't get the chance to really confront him about a different more "serious" issue.




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