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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Corrupted Offline
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Caught in the middle - February 1st 2014, 07:30 AM

In my group of about five friends, there are these two named Alex and Danny (those are not their real names, I'm using them just in case someone that knows me is browsing these forums). Alex is angry at Danny, as Danny got him suspended over something trivial and stupid a few years before I met either of them. Over the past week when Danny isn't around Alex, Alex has been going on about how he is going to ruin Danny's life because Danny has be acting like a dick to him lately. When Danny is around and Alex isn't, Danny keeps talking about how Alex is hypocritical and over-reactive of everything. When they are both together with the rest of us (the group of friends), they are able to get along for a few minutes before getting into some ridiculous argument about, for example, a seat at the lunch table. These arguments usually end with Alex storming off in a huff of anger and Danny making it a point that Alex is too sensitive about stuff. That's the story behind it, now here's where I come in. I've been neutral about the whole thing going on between them since the beginning; however, both of them have been coming to me on separate occasions over the past two weeks looking for me to support them in their plot of vengeance against the other. What would be the best, *most polite* thing I could tell them to make it clear that I don't want to be involved in their problem that started long before I knew either of them?

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franz1 Offline
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Re: Caught in the middle - February 1st 2014, 07:55 AM

Well, my advice to you would be to simply state "I am not comfortable getting involved in a problem that is long overhauled, it was your problem and your not about to make it mine" Something along those terms..

ever heard of an a&b conversation? well, tell them you don't want to be 'c' and watch how fast that shuts em up...SORRY had to say it. no disrespect is meant...just to bring a smile your way if your that type of person..if not, no harm done.

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Re: Caught in the middle - February 1st 2014, 09:00 PM

My advice would be to just say that you don't want to get involved in something that is going to "ruin" the other person's life. Tell him (whichever one it is) that since this doesn't really involve you at all, you don't want to get caught up in any kind of scheme or vengeance, because you don't have anything personally against the other person. Explain that since it didn't involve you in the first place, you really don't feel comfortable getting in the middle of it now, especially since it would seem like you're taking sides. It could ruin one or both of your friendships. Maybe you could tell both of them (separately) that it might be best if they stay away from each other for a little while.
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