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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Elementzsoul Offline
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What to do? - February 12th 2014, 10:25 PM

So me and my mom had a fight. She is sometimes rude and can be a pain in the butt, but I love her a lot. Well, I came home from school today, and the night before, I got 5-6ish hours of sleep due to homework and studying. I get home, and my mom asks me for a favor, Which I start to do. When I try to complete the task,(something I've done many times before) she starts to get more and more irritable. I, having an moderate temper, combined with my lack of sleep, start to react. She starts to react louder, and soon we yell, but it ends fast due to me having to walk the dog. Unfortunately, she is a grudge holder, so when I get back, I'm ambushed almost immediately when I get in. We start shouting, and it escalates, she tells me that I should just leave, I pound the wall and walk out to cool my head. 1 minute later, I walk in, to say, I'm going to my room to cool down, to which she replies, I hate you, you are stubborn, prideful, and I wish you weren't my son, you don't deserve me. I start hyperventilating when I yell back. She goes upstairs. We have 3 minutes of quiet time. Then she calls me upstairs to tell me that this was all my fault, I'm only a son, I have no right to talk to my mom, no matter what happens, and that she's not sure she wants to be my mom anymore. I start yelling( my temper hasn't calmed down) and tell her that right now, I cannot talk, because I cannot control what comes out of my mouth. She says stay up here, you reap what you sow, I'll count inure to push your buttons(it was like she found my anger button and started poking it with a stick because she was peeved too). I start hyperventilating again(pins and needles all over). I head down, we haven't spoke since. (Happened 30 minutes ago, worst fight to date).

Last edited by Elementzsoul; February 12th 2014 at 10:26 PM. Reason: Mispell
   
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Magda Offline
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Re: What to do? - February 13th 2014, 07:08 PM

Hey, I know how you feel. I've been in similar arhuements with my mum too.
I think its great you attempted to walk away and tell her you want to talk later and its a shame she couldn't let it go.
since its only been 30 mins, don't yet, but maybe later try and calmly talk to her. Maybe ask her why she started getting angry, to which you don't react angrilly no matter how much you may dissagree. Then perhaps tell her how much her saying what she said hurt and when you find a middle ground with her, tell her that if there's a next time, you guys just need to give each other space to calm down.
when i argue with my mum, i usually try keeping my head down and not talking to her. Then when we would start talking its in a calm tone and totally not about the thing we argued about. After some time we'd talk about it and move on.
There's two ways you can deal with this.
Also, if you can, talk to some other family member like a dad, aunt, sis, bro.
I hope things go okay, i hope i helped. PM on how it goes
   
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