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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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ClockWorkHearts Offline
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Not Surprised, but Still Disapionted - February 17th 2014, 08:41 PM

I have a large family (7 kids) so we often don't get to go many places... okay, we don't go anywhere, but this year my parents told us all we would be going to California for a few days this summer for vacation. I was completely exited!

Of coarse I was skeptical these plans would follow through considering my parents had the tendency to make promises they either couldn't, or had no intention of keeping. But they swore they would make it happen, and I believed them.

Then, just yesterday my dad said (very offhandedly) that they had decided not to put the effort in and that we where not going to California, or anywhere this summer, and I was utterly crushed.

I know it's ridiculous to get as upset as I am over something I knew (deep down) would never happen, but it feels like someone ripped the soul right out of me. I had been holding out for this one thing the whole school year, every time I felt like giving up (which was often) I would just remind myself "just put up with it a little longer, just a little while longer till summer" and it felt like the only thing I could look forward to.

Now there are only 3/4 months of school left and I don't even feel like I can get out of bed anymore, I just don't see the point. I've always had troubled getting motivated and it helped to have something to look forward to, but suddenly that's gone. I just feel so disappointed and angry that they would promise this to me for so long, then just give up because the "didn't feel like it", but mostly I just feel tired now, all the time.

Anyways I know this is kinda stupid and I'm sorry for ranting, I'm just not sure what to do with myself.
   
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Re: Not Surprised, but Still Disapionted - February 17th 2014, 09:00 PM

Hey Ko,

I don't think that you sound ridiculous at all. It's really crushing when you get yourself so excited for something and then find out it's not going to happen. The same thing has happened to me many times before, and it sucks to have to deal with the disappointment.

I think you should start planning something of your own to do this summer. I don't know how old you are, but if you have your driver's license or a friend that can drive you could take a little road trip or something. You could start saving up some money now and have a friend do the same and plan some place to go together. It doesn't have to be another state or some place super far away. You could drive even just an hour and end up somewhere new and fun.

If that's not a possibility, though, plan some things you could do around your community. Maybe you could get a summer job, or do some volunteer work. I know summer can get really boring rather fast, so find something to keep you busy. It might not be as fun as going to California, but it will you keep you active and you won't be at home all summer thinking about the vacation you couldn't go on.

I know how difficult it is to stay motivated, I struggle with that myself. But you just have to find something else to look forward to. Make your own plans for the summer that you know you're going to stick with and that won't fall through. There's still a lot to be excited for and to live for.

I hope that helps a little and that you feel better soon. Feel free to message me if you ever need somebody to talk to. Hang in there


   
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Re: Not Surprised, but Still Disapionted - February 17th 2014, 11:53 PM

Hey,
i HATE it when that happens. When you have convinced yourself that something awesome will actually happen this time and then it just doesn't.

There are some camps/trips that go to other places in the US or overseas. I have a friend who's going on one to Costa Rica this summer... you could start saving money for something like that. If you decide to raise the money but don't think you could get the whole amount, you can ask your parents if they can chip in a little. Tell them how upset you were when you learned you weren't going to california, and see if they would be willing to help you out financially for a small trip.

Also, never underestimate summer camps. I met most of my best friends at a camp that I go to every year, even though it's halfway across the country. It's the highlight of my summer. Think of what you're interested in and look for a camp with that theme.

If neither of these work, then Amanda's suggestions were great - a summer job, a road trip, or volunteer work.

Hope that helped...


Be yourself, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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Re: Not Surprised, but Still Disapionted - February 19th 2014, 03:26 AM

Hey, I know how you feel. I almost got to go to Italy this spring. Almost.
Make a bucket list for when you're off school of all the things that you can realisticly do my yourself, or with your family and friends. Whether it be going to a theme park at leadt once or going on a hike, or visiting the animal shelter, there are plenty of things in your own hometown that you aren't even aware of. Make it a priority to get a book that you wanted to take your mind off your missed vacation or eat at a new resturant and try a foreign food. Enjoy your own hometown.
I do happen to live in California. Where were you planning on going? I can tell you for a fact that the beach is overrated. It's cold, 95% of the time overcast, windy, and you get covered in itchy sand, and its crowded, and you get tangled in seaweed, and the Pacific is polluted, and you step on stingrays and sharp rocks, and get half-drowned by waves. That make you feel any better?


The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world or a relationship everything has it's time. And everything ends.
   
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